KidSafeHQ FAQs - RowanCenter KidSafeHQ FAQs | Expert Online Safety Advice

What are warning signs my child could be in danger on gaming platforms, like Roblox?

Grooming rarely looks alarming at first. It starts with kindness and gifts — by the time most parents notice, it's been going on for months. Behavioral Signs 1. Sudden secrecy around devices — closing screens when you walk in, refusing to say who they're playing with 2. Staying up late to be online — predators deliberately target kids after 11pm when parents are asleep 3. Emotional attachment to one specific online "friend" they won't talk about or show you 4. Withdrawing from real-life friends and family — the online relationship becomes the most important thing in their life The Biggest Red Flags 1. An online contact told them to keep the friendship secret. This is the clearest warning sign of grooming. Treat it as an emergency. 2. Unexplained gifts — Robux, in-game items, gift cards, or cash they can't explain 3. New apps you don't recognize, especially messaging apps like Discord, Kik, or WhatsApp. Moving a child off a monitored platform onto a private one is almost always a predator's first move. 4. A second "calculator" app on their phone — these are commonly used to hide photos and conversations from parents What Many Parents Don't Know 80% of children who are groomed online already know the person offline. It's not always a stranger. Neurodivergent children are at significantly higher risk. Difficulty reading social cues makes it harder to recognize when someone is being manipulative. If You See These Signs Don't confront the contact directly. Stay calm with your child — they may feel ashamed or protective of this person. Take screenshots, then report to the NCMEC CyberTipline or call 1-800-843-5678.

My child loves this game called, "Roblox." What is it and is it dangerous?

Yes, there are real dangers on Roblox. Roblox is one of the most popular platforms in the world, with nearly 75% of American children ages 9–12 playing it regularly. That popularity is also what makes it a target. Here's what you need to know, clearly and honestly. Roblox is a platform that hosts tens of millions of user-created games. Anyone can build and publish a game with little oversight. That means the quality and safety of content varies wildly. Some games are creative and age-appropriate. Others contain violence, sexual themes, gambling mechanics, or are designed to be psychologically addictive. What are the real dangers? 1. Child predators and grooming This is the most serious risk. Because both adults and children play Roblox, one of the most serious risks is the possibility of interacting with online predators. Keeper Security Since 2018, at least 24 people have been arrested in the United States on charges of abducting or sexually abusing children they groomed on Roblox. Predators often pose as children, build trust through gameplay, and then attempt to move the conversation to another platform or, in the worst cases, in person. 2. Inappropriate content Roblox makes it easy for anyone to make and release a game to the public with little to no oversight. Some games are appropriate, some are not, some are mindless, and some are dangerous. Games can contain graphic violence, sexual themes, drug/alcohol references, and deeply disturbing scenarios. 3. Cyberbullying and toxic behavior On platforms like Roblox, cyberbullying often involves harmful name-calling, offensive language, and actions designed to embarrass or distress the victim. Since there is no age restriction, this can be emotionally damaging, especially to younger children. 4. Financial exploitation and scams Roblox uses an in-game currency called Robux, purchased with real money. One common scam involves tricking players into unfair item trades, so they lose money in the process. Some popular games use aggressive pay-to-win mechanics that can pressure kids into spending. There's also malware risk: children can unknowingly infect their devices by downloading third-party software or clicking malicious links shared in-game. If you decide to allow Roblox, here are concrete steps: 1. Disable all chat. Go into parental settings and manually turn off both "experience chat" and "direct chat." This is the single most important step. 2. Use Account Restrictions. This limits your child to a curated set of age-appropriate games only. 3. Set a Robux spending limit so your child can't make unauthorized purchases. 4. Keep the device in a shared space. Predators rely on privacy. Supervised play is the strongest safeguard. 5. Talk to your child directly. Explain that some people online pretend to be kids and that they should never share their name, location, photos, or move a conversation to another app. 6. Watch for warning signs: Secretiveness about who they're playing with, mood swings after playing, emotional attachment to an unknown online "friend," or reluctance to let you see the screen. Whatever you decide, uninformed and unsupervised access is the most dangerous option of all.

Can an advocate speak with the police department to get updates if the client is afraid or overwhelmed?

Yes. Advocates often help clients communicate with law enforcement, understand next steps, and get updates so families do not feel alone navigating the system. They can help explain procedures, clarify what information is available, and reduce the stress of repeated communication. Advocates do not replace law enforcement, but they help bridge the gap so clients feel supported and informed while maintaining control over their own decisions.

Can I make a report without pressing charges?

Yes. In many cases, you can speak with law enforcement or make a report to document what happened and learn about your options without committing to a criminal case right away. Policies vary depending on circumstances, especially when minors are involved, but asking questions does not automatically mean you are pressing charges. Talking with an advocate first can help you understand what reporting does and does not mean before you decide.

Can reporting affect immigration status?

If you are a victim of a crime, reporting it does not affectyour immigration status. On the other hand, in the U.S, victims of a crime may qualify for a U-Visa/T-Visa and obtain protection under VAWA. In many situations, survivors and families can seek help regardless of immigration status, and some protections exist specifically to support victims. Because immigration circumstances can be complex, it is important to connect with advocates or legal professionals who understand both victim services and immigration law. The most important message is this: fear about immigration status should never prevent someone from reaching out for information or support.

What if I’m not sure my experience qualifies me for services?

Many people hesitate to reach out because they worry their situation is “not serious enough.” The reality is that support services are not only for the most extreme situations. If something is affecting you or your child’s sense of safety, emotional wellbeing, or daily functioning, you deserve support and guidance. You do not need to be certain about labels or outcomes before asking questions. Talking with an advocate or counselor is often the best way to understand what options are available. You are always welcome to contact our team. We can ask a few simple screening questions and help connect you with the resources that best fit your needs. Reaching out does not commit you to any next steps, and support is available even if you are still figuring out what you experienced.

How do I know when support is helping?

Progress rarely looks dramatic. More often, it shows up in small changes: better sleep, fewer emotional ups and downs, returning interest in activities, or greater comfort talking about feelings. Healing is rarely linear. Good weeks and hard weeks can exist at the same time. Look for overall direction rather than perfection. If your child seems gradually more regulated or more connected to daily life, support is likely helping.

What if my child doesn’t want counseling?

Many kids resist counseling because they fear being judged, don’t want to revisit the situation, or simply don’t know what therapy is like. Avoid framing counseling as something they “need because something is wrong.” Instead, describe it as another support option, like talking to someone whose job is to help kids sort through big feelings. Offering choices, such as meeting once to see how it feels, often works better than pressure. Sometimes readiness comes later, and that’s okay.

What if my child’s behavior changes months later?

Parents are sometimes surprised when changes show up long after the event. This is normal. Children process experiences in stages, and new reactions can emerge as they mature or as situations at school or online bring things back up. Rather than seeing this as a setback, think of it as another phase of processing. Stay curious and supportive, and consider reaching out for additional support if changes begin to impact daily functioning.

How do I support siblings who are affected?

Siblings often absorb stress even when they are not directly involved. They may feel worried, confused, jealous of attention, or unsure what is happening. Keeping routines consistent helps create stability for the whole family. Offer age-appropriate explanations and invite questions without sharing more detail than necessary. Most importantly, carve out individual moments of connection so siblings don’t feel overlooked. Supporting one child should not mean others feel invisible.

What if my child wants to talk constantly?

The opposite reaction can also happen. Some children process by talking frequently, repeating details, or revisiting the same worries. This can be emotionally tiring for parents, but it is often part of how kids make sense of experiences. Listen when you can, but it is okay to set gentle boundaries. Predictable check-ins, like “Let’s talk again after dinner,” help balance support with daily life. Consistency reassures your child that you are available without everyone becoming overwhelmed.

What if my child doesn’t want to talk at all?

Many children worry that talking will make things worse or make adults upset. Respecting their pace is important. Instead of asking repeated direct questions, offer open invitations such as, “I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Some kids communicate better through writing, texting, or casual conversations that happen naturally rather than formal talks. What matters most is that your child knows they are believed and supported, even in silence.

What if my child’s school performance changes?

Emotional stress often shows up in concentration, motivation, or school attendance. A drop in performance does not mean your child is lazy or giving up. Their brain may simply be spending energy managing stress. Consider letting teachers or school counselors know your child may need flexibility or extra support. Small adjustments, like extended deadlines or reduced pressure, can make a significant difference while your child stabilizes. Try to focus on effort and wellbeing rather than grades during this period. Recovery comes first.

What if my child regresses developmentally?

After stressful experiences, some children temporarily act younger than their age. This might look like needing more reassurance, having sleep difficulties, increased clinginess, or struggling with independence. This is a normal stress response, not a failure or setback. The best response is patience and stability. Reinforce routines, provide comfort, and avoid shaming or rushing them to “act their age.” Most children regain confidence as they begin to feel safe again. If regression continues or significantly disrupts daily life, professional support can help guide next steps.

What if my child shuts down completely?

Some children respond by going quiet, avoiding conversations, or seeming emotionally distant. This can be unsettling for parents, but it is often a protective coping response rather than a sign that something is wrong with your child. Instead of pushing for conversations, focus on connection in smaller ways. Sit together, offer low-pressure check-ins, and remind them they can talk when they are ready. Activities side-by-side, like driving, walking, or doing something hands-on, sometimes feel safer than face-to-face conversations. Your calm presence sends the message that you are available without forcing them to be ready before they are.

What if my child seems angry instead of sad?

Many parents expect sadness after a difficult experience, but anger is actually one of the most common reactions. Anger can be a way kids protect themselves when they feel hurt, scared, embarrassed, or powerless. It does not mean they are coping badly. Try not to immediately correct or shut down the anger. Instead, acknowledge it while keeping clear boundaries around behavior. You might say, “I can see you’re really angry right now, and that makes sense. Let’s find a safe way to talk about it.” What helps most is steady presence. Anger often softens once a child feels safe enough to express what is underneath it.

What if I disagree with how authorities respond?

It is not uncommon for families to feel frustrated or disappointed with how systems respond. Processes can move slowly, or outcomes may not match what you expected. If this happens, start by asking questions to understand what decisions were made and why. Sometimes clearer information helps make sense of the process, even if you still disagree. You are allowed to ask for clarification, request follow-up conversations, or seek advocacy support. Staying calm and organized usually makes your voice more effective than reacting out of frustration. Document conversations, keep notes, and focus on specific concerns or requests rather than broad criticism. Most importantly, separate your feelings about the system from your child’s healing. Kids often take emotional cues from adults, so helping them feel safe and supported matters more than the outcome itself.

What if the other child’s parents contact me directly?

This can be one of the most uncomfortable parts of a situation like this. Emotions may be high on all sides, and parents often feel protective or defensive. If contact happens, try to keep communication calm, brief, and factual. You are not required to discuss details or negotiate outcomes directly. In many situations, it is healthier to redirect communication through the school, an advocate, or another neutral party. This reduces misunderstandings and protects everyone’s privacy. If you do respond, avoid blame or lengthy explanations. A simple statement like, “We’re working through this with the appropriate supports,” is often enough. Remember that your responsibility is to your child’s wellbeing, not to resolving the situation between families.

How do I support my child during an investigation?

Investigations can feel long, confusing, and out of your control, which is often just as stressful for families as the original incident. Kids may feel anxious about what will happen next, worried they said something wrong, or tired of having to repeat parts of their experience. Your job is not to manage the investigation itself, but to help your child feel steady while adults handle the process. Consistency helps more than big conversations. Keep routines as normal as possible, check in gently, and remind your child they do not have to carry the responsibility of “getting it right.” Avoid repeatedly questioning them for details. Many parents do this out of concern, but it can feel like pressure to a child who is already overwhelmed. What helps most is reassurance. Let your child know that adults are working on the situation and that their role right now is simply to focus on being safe and supported.

What if my child is disciplined after reporting?

This can feel deeply confusing for families. Sometimes schools apply policies that affect multiple students involved in a situation, even when one child came forward for help. Start by asking for a clear explanation of how decisions were made and what policies were applied. Emotionally, reassure your child that speaking up was still the right choice. Kids may feel betrayed or regret reporting if they experience consequences, so they need strong support and validation at home.

What if the incident happened off school grounds?

Many parents assume schools cannot help if something happened outside school, but that isn’t always true. If the incident affects students’ wellbeing, social dynamics, or ability to learn, schools may still have responsibility to respond. At the same time, schools are only one part of the solution. Platforms, community organizations, and law enforcement may also play roles depending on what occurred. Think of the response as layered rather than relying on a single system.

How do I advocate without escalating?

Effective advocacy often looks quieter than parents expect. It’s less about strong emotions and more about clarity and consistency. Start by focusing on specific needs: safety plans, communication updates, or practical support for your child. Use language that invites collaboration, such as “Help me understand what options exist,” or “What steps can we take together?” This keeps conversations productive while still making it clear you are paying attention. You are not minimizing the situation by staying calm. You are increasing your ability to influence outcomes.

What if my child doesn’t trust school administrators?

When a child says they don’t trust adults at school, take that seriously. Pushing them to disclose to someone they don’t feel safe with can backfire. Instead, ask who they do trust. Sometimes it’s a counselor, coach, nurse, or specific teacher rather than administration. Your job becomes helping create a bridge. Support your child’s comfort while still ensuring adults are aware enough to help protect them. Trust is often built through small, respectful interactions over time.

What if the school handles the situation poorly?

Parents often feel powerless when they believe a school is not responding appropriately. Start by slowing things down and gathering information. Ask for clear explanations about policies, steps being taken, and how decisions were made. Document conversations and follow up in writing when possible. Keeping communication calm, specific, and collaborative usually leads to better results than emotional confrontation, even though frustration is understandable. If concerns continue, you can request meetings with higher-level administrators or bring an advocate to help guide the process. Your role is to remain steady and focused on your child’s wellbeing.

How do I protect my child’s digital likeness?

There is no way to remove all risk, but you can reduce exposure by building smart habits. Review privacy settings together. Think carefully about public accounts. Talk about what kinds of photos feel safe to share and which ones might reveal too much personal information. The key is collaboration rather than control. When kids feel involved in decisions, they are more likely to follow through with safe habits. The goal isn’t to make them afraid of being online. It’s to help them understand that their image and identity have value worth protecting.

What if AI is used to falsely accuse my child?

When parents hear about false claims or manipulated content, the instinct is often to respond quickly and publicly. Try to resist that impulse at first. The most effective approach is usually calm documentation and clear communication. Save screenshots, gather facts, and avoid escalating arguments online. Work through appropriate channels such as school administrators, platform reporting systems, or legal authorities if needed. Support your child emotionally because being falsely accused can feel isolating and frightening. Remind them that they don’t have to defend themselves everywhere at once. Adults can help manage the process.

How do I talk about AI without overwhelming my child?

Parents sometimes feel pressure to explain everything at once, which can lead to information overload. Most kids do better with short, ongoing conversations tied to real-life examples. When something comes up in the news, on social media, or in conversation, use that moment instead of scheduling a big “AI talk.” You don’t need to be an expert. Kids actually benefit when parents model curiosity and learning. Saying “I’m still learning about this too” opens the door to shared exploration rather than lectures. Focus less on technical details and more on core values: respect, consent, critical thinking, and asking for help when something feels off.

What if my child can’t tell what’s real anymore?

This is becoming more common, especially for teens who spend a lot of time online. When kids start questioning everything they see, it can create anxiety or cynicism. Instead of focusing only on spotting fakes, focus on teaching decision-making skills. Encourage your child to slow down before reacting emotionally or sharing something. Ask questions like: “Who posted this?” “Where did it come from?” “Does this seem realistic?” The goal is not perfect detection. It’s building thoughtful habits. Also normalize uncertainty. Adults struggle with this too. Let your child know that feeling unsure doesn’t mean they’re naïve. It means they’re thinking critically.

How do I explain AI manipulation to younger kids?

Younger children do not need technical explanations. What they need is a basic framework for understanding that not everything they see online is real. You can say something like, “Sometimes computers can make pictures or videos that look real, but they’re pretend, kind of like special effects in movies.” Keep it light and conversational. The goal isn’t to make them distrust everything, but to encourage curiosity. Teach them that when something feels confusing or strange, they should ask an adult instead of trying to figure it out alone. Repeated small conversations are more effective than one serious talk. Young kids learn through repetition and calm reinforcement.

What if my child is asked to create an image of someone else?

Kids may encounter requests framed as jokes, dares, or creative experimentation. They often do not immediately recognize the harm involved. This conversation is less about fear and more about helping them think through impact. You might explain that creating or manipulating someone’s image without their permission can feel violating and humiliating to the person involved. Even if everyone is laughing in the moment, the result can cause real emotional damage. Encourage your child to trust their discomfort. If something feels wrong, they can step away or say they don’t want to participate. Giving kids language helps. Simple phrases like “I don’t think that’s okay” or “I’m not getting involved in that” make it easier to exit the situation confidently.

What if my child sees AI-generated sexual images of classmates?

This puts kids in a difficult social situation. They may feel pressure to react, laugh, or share the content because peers are doing it. What they need from parents is clear guidance about empathy and responsibility, not just rules. Explain that even fake images can deeply hurt real people. Encourage your child not to forward, comment publicly, or engage with the content. Instead, they should report it if possible and tell a trusted adult. You can frame this as standing up for someone’s dignity rather than “telling on” peers. These moments are also opportunities to talk about digital ethics. Technology is advancing faster than social norms, and kids need guidance understanding that just because something is possible doesn’t make it okay.

What if my child is afraid a fake image could be created of them?

This fear has become very real for many kids. They hear about AI-generated images and start to worry that something fake could appear online and harm their reputation. Even if it hasn’t happened, the fear itself can be stressful and destabilizing. Start by validating the concern instead of dismissing it. You might say, “It’s understandable to worry about that because technology is changing fast.” Then shift the focus toward what your child can control. They can tell you quickly if something appears, avoid reacting publicly online, and allow adults to help report and address it. It is also important to emphasize responsibility. Someone creating or sharing a fake image is causing the harm. Your child is not at fault simply because technology allows manipulation. Calm reassurance here matters a lot because kids often imagine worst-case scenarios that feel overwhelming.

What if my child blocked someone but the behavior continues?

Parents are often surprised to learn that blocking someone does not always end the situation. The person may create new accounts, use shared group chats, involve friends, or continue contact through other platforms. When this happens, kids can feel frustrated or helpless, like nothing they do works. The most important thing is to help your child understand that the failure is not theirs. Blocking is still the right first step. From there, the approach shifts from simple boundary-setting to documenting patterns. Save screenshots of new contact attempts, usernames, or messages, and avoid direct engagement. Responding can sometimes encourage continued behavior. At this point, additional adults usually need to step in. Depending on the situation, that might mean reporting through the platform, involving school administrators if peers are involved, or reaching out to law enforcement when threats or repeated harassment are present. Emotionally, reassure your child that adults are taking responsibility for handling it. Kids should not feel they have to “manage” ongoing harassment alone.

What if my child is targeted repeatedly online?

Repeated targeting can wear a child down emotionally, even if each individual incident seems small. Kids may start feeling watched, anxious, or unable to escape the situation because online spaces follow them everywhere. As a parent, you may notice mood changes, avoidance of devices, or reluctance to go to school or social events. Your role is both practical and emotional. Practically, help your child review privacy settings, block accounts, and document behavior when it continues. Emotionally, make sure they know this is not happening because they did something wrong. Repeated targeting is about the behavior of the other person, not your child’s worth or choices. If the behavior persists, involving schools, platforms, or law enforcement may be appropriate. The key is helping your child feel that adults are stepping in so they are not carrying the burden alone.

How do I explain permanence without fear?

This is one of the hardest conversations for parents because it is easy to slide into warnings that feel scary or shame-based. Fear tends to shut kids down or make them hide things. The goal is to build awareness without making your child feel like one mistake will define them forever. Instead of focusing on worst-case outcomes, try normalizing the reality of technology. You might say, “When we send something online, we lose some control over where it goes. That doesn’t mean you should be scared of technology, but it does mean we want to be thoughtful.” This keeps the conversation calm and practical. It also helps to make the conversation about decision-making, not morality. Encourage your child to pause and ask themselves whether they would feel comfortable if more people saw something than they expected. The intention is to build judgment over time, not perfect behavior.

What if my child thinks deleting messages solves the problem?

rom a child’s perspective, deleting messages can feel like erasing the mistake. They may believe that if the conversation is gone, the problem disappears too. Unfortunately, that isn’t always true. The other person may still have screenshots or saved content, and deleting too quickly can remove information that helps adults understand what happened and respond effectively. The better message is not “never delete,” but “pause first.” Encourage your child to save screenshots of concerning messages before removing them. Explain that evidence is not about getting someone in trouble. It is about protecting themselves and giving adults or platforms the information needed to help. Once information is saved, blocking and reporting are healthy next steps. Framing this as a safety strategy rather than a punishment strategy helps kids cooperate without feeling afraid.

What if the person asking for images is another minor?

Parents are often surprised to learn that harmful or pressuring behavior can happen between kids who are the same age or in the same social group. In these situations, it helps to move away from thinking only in terms of punishment and instead focus on understanding dynamics like peer pressure, immaturity, or misunderstanding of boundaries. Even when both children are minors, pressure or repeated requests can still feel overwhelming or unsafe. Your child needs to hear clearly that they are allowed to say no, change their mind, or step away from conversations that feel uncomfortable. They don’t owe anyone images or explanations. This is also where education matters. Many kids genuinely do not understand the impact of their requests or the seriousness of sharing images. If schools or adults become involved, the goal should ideally be both accountability and learning. Supporting your child means helping them feel safe while also reinforcing healthy relationship expectations.

How do I know when something crosses into sextortion?

Parents often miss the early signs because sextortion doesn’t always begin with obvious threats. It usually starts with connection. Someone may flatter a child, build trust, or make the interaction feel private and special. The shift happens when the tone changes from friendly or flirtatious to controlling. That might look like pressure to send more images, threats to share something unless demands are met, or requests for money, gift cards, or continued contact. A simple way to think about it is this: the moment fear or coercion enters the conversation, the situation has crossed a line. If a child feels they must do something to avoid embarrassment or exposure, that is no longer a mutual interaction. One of the hardest parts for parents is realizing how quickly kids can feel trapped. Many young people believe complying will make the problem go away, when in reality demands often escalate. The most important message you can reinforce is that your child is not in trouble and does not have to face the situation alone. Calm adult involvement early often prevents deeper harm.

What if images are being traded among peers?

When images start circulating among peers, parents often hear things like “everyone is doing it,” “it was just for fun,” or “no one meant harm.” But from a safety and emotional standpoint, image sharing among minors can create lasting consequences, even when no one intended to hurt someone. Once an image begins moving from phone to phone or through group chats, the original person loses control of it. What starts as one private exchange can quickly become a larger social situation that affects a child’s reputation, friendships, and sense of safety. The first step is to slow everything down. Encourage your child not to forward, comment on, or engage with the content. Even kids who are trying to help can accidentally spread harm by resharing or discussing it widely. If possible, document what is happening without saving or redistributing the image itself more than necessary, then involve a trusted adult or school administrator who understands how to respond appropriately. What matters most in your response is tone. Kids often fear they will be blamed or punished simply for being near the situation. Make it clear that your goal is safety and support, not shame. The conversation you want to have is about respect, consent, and digital responsibility, not just rules.

What if my child is being pressured to send “non-nude” pictures?

Pressure is the key issue, not nudity. Explain that any request that makes them uncomfortable or feels persistent is a red flag. Let them know it’s okay to pause, refuse, and ask for help even if the images seem “harmless.”

What if my child feels responsible because they replied once?

Responding once does not equal consent. Explain that manipulation often builds gradually and that responsibility still lies with the person who applied pressure. This is especially important to say clearly, as self-blame can escalate quickly.

What if my child didn’t ask for the image but didn’t stop it either?

Freezing or not responding is common. Many children don’t know what to do in the moment. Make it clear that responsibility lies with the sender, not your child. Avoid questions that imply blame. Focus on safety and next steps.

What if my child was added to a group chat sharing explicit content?

Being added does not mean participation or consent. Reassure your child immediately that they are not in trouble. Explain the importance of saving evidence, leaving the chat, and reporting with adult help. Emphasize that adults are responsible for handling the situation safely.

How do I talk about group dynamics without blaming my child?

Groups can change how people behave. Explain that peer pressure and group norms influence decisions, even for good kids. Frame conversations around awareness rather than fault. You might say, “Groups can make people act differently than they would alone. Learning to notice that is part of growing up.”

What if my child witnesses harassment but doesn’t know what to do?

Bystanders often freeze because they’re unsure, not because they don’t care. Normalize that uncertainty. Teach that there are multiple ways to help, including checking in with the person targeted later, telling an adult, or interrupting gently. Emphasize that safety comes first. Even small actions can reduce harm and matter more than doing nothing perfectly.

How do I help my child apologize without shaming them?

A meaningful apology is about repair, not self-punishment. Help your child focus on acknowledging impact, expressing care, and committing to change. Avoid statements that attack character. Instead of “You shouldn’t have done that,” try “What do you think they felt, and what could help make things right?” This teaches responsibility without humiliation.

What if my child is the one being called out by peers?

This is often very painful and can trigger shame or defensiveness. Start by regulating your own reaction so your child feels safe telling you. Avoid jumping to punishment or dismissal. Focus on understanding impact rather than intent. You can say, “Let’s look at what happened and what others felt, without labeling you as a bad person.” This creates space for accountability and growth without crushing self-worth.

How do I talk about popularity and power?

Popularity gives influence, not moral authority. Help your child understand that people with social power can shape group norms and pressure others without realizing it. You might say, “When someone has more influence, it can feel harder to say no, even if they don’t mean harm.” This reframes pressure as a dynamic rather than a personal failure and helps children understand why situations feel complicated.

What if my child is afraid of being excluded for setting boundaries?

This fear is real and painful. Validate it rather than minimizing it. You can say, “It makes sense that you’re scared of being left out. Belonging matters.” Then gently help them weigh costs. Explain that staying in situations that violate boundaries can have long-term emotional effects. Remind them that relationships requiring self-betrayal are not safe relationships, even if losing them hurts in the short term.

How do I help my child exit uncomfortable conversations?

Exiting can feel harder than refusing outright. Children often need permission and practice. Work together to develop neutral, non-dramatic exit phrases like “I need to go,” “This isn’t my thing,” or “I’m not comfortable with this.” Practice these out loud so they feel natural. Knowing what to say ahead of time reduces panic and increases confidence when discomfort arises.

What if my child doesn’t want to be “that person” who speaks up?

Fear of social consequences is powerful, especially during adolescence. Acknowledge that speaking up can feel risky. Avoid framing silence as failure. Instead, broaden what “doing something” can mean. You can explain that protecting oneself or others doesn’t always require public confrontation. Sometimes it means checking in later, getting adult support, or choosing not to participate. Reinforce that safety does not require heroics.

What if my child feels pressured to laugh along with sexual jokes?

Laughing can be a survival strategy. Many kids laugh to avoid standing out or becoming a target. Make it clear that laughing does not mean agreement or consent. Reassure your child that the pressure they feel is real and understandable. Help them brainstorm options that don’t require confrontation, such as changing the subject, stepping away, or talking privately to a trusted adult afterward. Emphasize that their safety and comfort matter more than fitting in during a moment that feels wrong.

What if my child struggles to recognize their own boundaries?

Some children are so used to adapting to others that they don’t notice discomfort until it becomes overwhelming. Help your child learn to listen to their body first. Talk about physical cues like tightness in the chest, stomach discomfort, wanting to escape, or feeling suddenly quiet. You can say, “Boundaries often start as body feelings before they become words.” Encourage them to pause and check in with themselves during interactions. Over time, this builds internal awareness, which is the foundation of healthy boundaries.

How do I talk about boundaries with children who are people-pleasers?

Children who are people-pleasers often learned early that approval equals safety. Saying no can feel dangerous to them, even when they are uncomfortable. Start by validating this instinct rather than trying to change it quickly. Let your child know you see how much they care about others and that this is a strength, not a flaw. Then gently expand the definition of kindness. You might say, “Being kind to others doesn’t mean being unkind to yourself.” Help them understand that boundaries are not rejection, they are information. Practice small, low-stakes boundaries together so they can experience that relationships often survive and even improve when limits are clear.

What if my child thinks jealousy is love?

Jealousy can be a feeling, but controlling behavior is not love. Talk about love as something that supports freedom, trust, and safety.

How do I teach consent without making it feel clinical?

Use everyday situations like sharing, play, or physical space. Consent is about listening and respect, not legal definitions. Keep the focus on mutual comfort and choice.

What if my child thinks consent is implied in relationships?

Help them understand that consent is ongoing and specific. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean automatic access. You might say, “Every interaction still needs to feel okay for both people, every time.”

How do I explain that freezing is involuntary?

Explain that the brain has automatic survival responses. When someone feels threatened, their body may freeze without conscious choice. Reassure your child clearly: freezing is not consent, and it is never their fault.

What if my child feels guilty for hurting someone’s feelings by saying no?

Guilt is common, especially for empathetic children. Reframe saying no as a healthy skill. You can say, “You’re allowed to protect yourself even if someone feels disappointed. Your safety matters more than avoiding awkwardness.”

How do I help my child recognize pressure that doesn’t sound aggressive?

Pressure can sound friendly, joking, or flattering. It often shows up as persistence, guilt, or “just this once.” Help your child notice how interactions make them feel afterward. Feeling drained, uneasy, or anxious are signs something isn’t right.

What if my child is confused about mixed signals?

Mixed signals often reflect pressure, not consent. Teach your child that confusion itself is information. Let them know that if something feels unclear or uncomfortable, it’s okay to pause and seek help rather than pushing through.

How do I explain that boundaries apply even with friends or partners?

Children often assume closeness cancels boundaries. In reality, boundaries matter most in close relationships. You might say, “Being close to someone doesn’t mean giving up your limits. Safe people care how you feel and listen when you say no.”

What if my child thinks they owe someone attention or affection?

Many children are taught to be polite and accommodating, sometimes at the expense of their own comfort. Reinforce that kindness does not require self-sacrifice. Say, “You don’t owe anyone your body, your time, or your attention. Real respect includes respecting yourself.”

How do I teach my child that discomfort matters even if no rule was broken?

Rules don’t cover every situation. Help your child learn to trust their internal signals. You can say, “Sometimes nothing illegal or obvious happens, but your body still knows something isn’t okay. That feeling matters.” This helps children understand safety as internal, not just external.

Can I talk to someone anonymously before deciding what to do?

Yes, and this is often a wise first step. Anonymous conversations with trained professionals allow you to think clearly, ask questions, and explore options without pressure. These conversations can help you decide next steps while keeping your child’s emotional safety in mind.

How do I explain reporting requirements to my child?

Use simple, age-appropriate language. Avoid legal jargon. Focus on safety rather than rules. Reassure them that reporting is about protection, not punishment, and that you will stay involved and advocate for them.

What if my child tells me something that triggers mandatory reporting?

If reporting is required, your child may feel scared or betrayed if they don’t understand why. Explain the process gently and ahead of time if possible. Say, “Some adults are required to get extra help when kids might not be safe. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It means more people are helping protect you.” Stay emotionally close throughout the process.

How do I reassure my child without promising things I can’t control?

Avoid absolute promises like “nothing bad will happen.” Instead, promise presence and honesty. You might say, “I can’t control everything, but I can promise I’ll be honest with you and I won’t leave you to handle this alone.” This builds trust without false reassurance.

What if my child says “never mind” after starting to tell me something?

This usually means the moment felt too vulnerable. Respect the pause without withdrawing warmth. You can say, “That’s okay. I’m here whenever you’re ready.” Avoid asking follow-up questions right away. Leaving the door open matters more than getting information.

How do I respond if my child tests me with a small disclosure first?

Small disclosures are often a test of safety. Children watch closely to see if you overreact, lecture, or punish. Respond with appreciation and curiosity. “Thank you for telling me. I’m really glad you did.” A calm response now makes bigger conversations possible later.

What if my child says “you’ll be mad” before telling me?

This tells you your child is more afraid of your reaction than the situation itself. Slow down and address that fear first. Say something clear and calm, like, “I might have feelings because I care about you, but I won’t be mad at you. You’re not in trouble.” Your tone and body language matter just as much as the words.

What if my child is worried about retaliation?

"Retaliation is a real concern, especially in schools and online spaces. Take this fear seriously and don’t rush disclosure without a plan. Reassure your child that you will think through safety steps together. This might include who is told, how information is shared, and what protections can be put in place. Feeling protected makes disclosure possible."

What if my child is afraid of making someone angry by telling?

Fear of anger, disappointment, or retaliation keeps many children silent. They may be worried about upsetting a peer, a family member, or an authority figure. Name that fear directly. “It sounds like you’re worried about how someone might react.” Then clarify responsibility. Let them know adults are responsible for managing reactions and consequences. Your child’s responsibility is simply to be honest about what they experienced.

What if my child says it’s not a big deal but I think it is?

Children often minimize experiences to avoid feeling overwhelmed or to protect adults from worry. “It’s not a big deal” can mean “I don’t want to think about this,” or “I’m scared of what happens next.” You can honor their words without dismissing your instincts. Try, “I hear you, and I also want to make sure you’re okay. Even small things can have a big impact sometimes.” You don’t need their agreement to offer care and protection.

What if my child changes their story?

Memory is not a recording. Fear, stress, and trauma can affect how children remember and describe events. Changes in details often reflect emotional processing, not dishonesty. Focus less on consistency and more on meaning. Ask yourself what your child is trying to communicate about how they felt or what they need now. Reinforce that they don’t need to get it “perfect” to deserve support.

What if my child only tells part of the story?

Partial disclosure is a protective strategy. Children often share what feels manageable and hold back what feels too overwhelming, confusing, or shame-filled. This is especially true with sexual or online harm. Avoid pressing for details. Let them know you believe what they’ve shared and that they don’t have to say everything at once. You can say, “Thank you for telling me what you could. We can take this one step at a time.” When children feel believed early, they’re more likely to share more later.

How do I know if my child is hiding something serious?

You may never get certainty, and that can be uncomfortable. Instead of looking for proof, pay attention to changes. Withdrawal, irritability, sudden secrecy around devices, sleep disruption, school avoidance, or shifts in friendships can all be signs that something is weighing on them. These signs don’t automatically mean harm, but they do mean your child needs connection. Rather than interrogating, try gentle check-ins over time. “I’ve noticed you seem quieter lately. I’m here if something’s bothering you.” Consistent presence is more effective than one intense conversation.

What if my child tells me something but doesn’t want help?

For many children, telling is already a huge emotional risk. They may not be ready for action, reporting, or adult involvement yet. Pushing too quickly can cause them to shut down or regret telling you. Start by asking what they’re hoping for. You can say, “Right now, do you just want me to listen, or do you want help figuring out next steps?” Let them know you may need to step in if safety is at risk, but that you want to respect their pace whenever possible. Trust grows when children feel some control after feeling powerless.

What if my child tells someone else before telling me?

It’s very common for children to disclose first to whoever feels safest in that moment. That might be a friend, a teacher, a coach, or another adult. This doesn’t mean your child doesn’t trust you or that you’ve done something wrong. It usually means they were testing whether it was safe to say anything out loud at all. What matters most is how you respond now. Avoid expressing hurt or asking why they didn’t come to you first. Instead, center their courage. You might say, “I’m really glad you talked to someone. I’m glad you’re telling me now, and I’m here with you.” This reassures your child that honesty leads to support, not guilt.

How do I help my child understand that curiosity is normal, but not everything online is safe?

Curiosity is not the problem. Unfiltered access is. Make that distinction clear so your child doesn’t equate curiosity with danger. You can say, “It’s normal to be curious. The internet doesn’t always show things in healthy or accurate ways. That’s why I want us to talk about questions instead of you figuring it out alone.”

What if my child is afraid of disappointing me if they tell me something hard?

Many children protect their parents emotionally. They stay silent because they don’t want to cause stress, anger, or sadness. It helps to say explicitly, “I would rather know and help than be protected from the truth. You’re not responsible for my feelings. I can handle hard things.”

How do I talk to my child about saying no to adults without undermining respect?

Respect does not mean compliance. Children can be respectful and still protect themselves. You might say, “You’re allowed to be respectful and still say no, ask questions, or leave a situation. Any adult who is safe for you will respect that.”

What if my child says they were “fine with it at the time” but feel upset later?

That’s very common. Understanding and emotions often catch up later, once the pressure is gone. Let your child know that hindsight doesn’t mean they were wrong then. You can say, “It’s okay to realize later that something didn’t sit right with you. That doesn’t change what you deserve now, which is support.”

How do I explain that consent applies to emotional and digital situations, not just physical ones?

Consent is about choice and comfort in all interactions. This includes conversations, sharing images, emotional labor, and online interactions. You might say, “Consent isn’t just about bodies. It’s about whether you feel okay participating. If something feels draining, scary, or pressured, you’re allowed to step away.”

How do I help my child understand that boundaries apply online too?

Online spaces can make boundaries feel blurry. There’s distance, anonymity, and constant pressure to respond. Kids often feel they owe replies, explanations, or images. Reinforce that boundaries don’t disappear just because something is digital. You might say, “Being online doesn’t mean you give up control over your body, time, or attention. You’re allowed to stop responding, block someone, or ask for help.”

How do I talk to my child about secrecy versus privacy?

Children need privacy. Secrecy is different. Privacy is about personal space and autonomy. Secrecy is about hiding something because someone told them to, or because they’re afraid of consequences. A helpful distinction is: “You can have private thoughts, journals, and conversations. But if someone asks you to keep a secret about safety, bodies, pictures, or things that make you uncomfortable, that’s something you should always tell me.”

What if my child confuses attention with affection?

This is very common, especially for kids who feel lonely, insecure, or overlooked. Attention can feel powerful, validating, and exciting. Unfortunately, people who want to exploit others often rely on this confusion. Help your child slow down and notice how interactions make them feel over time. Affection feels mutual and safe. Exploitation often feels intense, secretive, or pressuring. You can say, “Real care doesn’t make you feel scared to say no or afraid to tell me about it.”

What’s the most important message I should keep repeating?

“You are not alone. You are not in trouble. You did not cause this. I am here with you.” Those words, said calmly and consistently, do more for a child’s safety and healing than any rule or technology setting.

How do I talk to my child about sexual harassment when they say it’s just normal behavior?

Children often normalize harmful behavior because they see it everywhere. It helps to separate “common” from “acceptable.” You can say, “Something can be common and still not okay. If it makes you or someone else uncomfortable, it deserves attention.” This helps children question norms without feeling isolated.

How do I help my child understand that they are allowed to seek help even if they broke a rule?

Children often stay silent because they fear consequences more than harm. They need reassurance that safety comes first. You might say, “Rules matter, but your safety matters more. If something scary or uncomfortable happens, I want you to tell me even if a rule was broken.” Backing this up with calm responses in smaller situations builds credibility.

What if my child says they didn’t say no, so they think it’s their fault?

This belief is very common and very painful. Children often replay moments, searching for a point where they think they should have acted differently. You can gently interrupt that narrative by saying, “Not saying no doesn’t mean you agreed. Responsibility always belongs to the person who crossed the boundary.” Repeating this consistently can help loosen self-blame over time.

How do I explain that silence or freezing doesn’t mean consent?

Many children believe consent requires a verbal no. In reality, silence and freezing are common trauma responses. You can explain it simply: “When people feel scared or overwhelmed, their body can shut down. That’s not consent. Consent requires clarity and comfort.” This helps children understand their own reactions and respect others’ boundaries as well.

What if my child is worried they led someone on?

Children often take responsibility for others’ behavior, especially when they were friendly, curious, or changed their mind. This can create deep shame. It’s important to be clear that kindness, flirting, curiosity, or saying yes once does not obligate anyone to continue. You can say, “You’re allowed to change your mind. Someone else’s expectations do not override your boundaries.”

How do I talk to my child about power differences without making everything feel dangerous?

Power differences exist everywhere, not just in extreme situations. Age, popularity, size, authority, gender, and social influence all affect how safe someone feels saying no. You don’t need to frame this as danger. Frame it as awareness. You can say, “If someone has more power than you in a situation and you feel pressured, it’s okay to step back and talk to a trusted adult.” This teaches discernment rather than fear.

What if my child thinks setting boundaries will make them seem rude or unkind?

Many children are socialized to prioritize politeness over safety. They worry about being labeled mean, dramatic, or difficult. It helps to reframe boundaries as a form of respect. You might say, “Being respectful includes respecting yourself. You don’t have to be rude to be firm, and you don’t have to explain your boundaries for them to be valid.” Practicing simple phrases ahead of time can reduce anxiety in the moment.

How do I teach my child to recognize manipulation or pressure, especially when it’s subtle?

Manipulation often doesn’t look dramatic. It sounds like flattery, guilt, persistence, or “everyone else is doing it.” Children are especially vulnerable to pressure when it’s wrapped in attention or affection. You can help by teaching your child to notice patterns rather than single moments. Encourage them to pay attention to how they feel after interactions. Feeling drained, uneasy, confused, or pressured to keep secrets are important signals. Let them know that pressure, even without threats, is a reason to pause and talk to a trusted adult.

How do I talk to my child about sexual violence when the person who harmed them was someone they cared about?

This is one of the hardest situations for children. Love, trust, fear, and harm can exist at the same time. Children may feel grief alongside anger or confusion. You can say, “It’s okay to miss someone and still know what they did was not okay. Feelings don’t cancel out harm.” Naming this complexity helps children stop judging themselves for their emotions.

What if my child is afraid of being labeled or judged if they report something?

Fear of social consequences keeps many children silent. They worry about being seen as dramatic, ruining reputations, or becoming “that kid.” Help your child understand that reporting is about safety, not labels. You can say, “Telling is about protecting yourself and possibly others. You’re not responsible for how adults respond to information.”

How do I help my child understand that they don’t owe anyone access to their body or attention?

Children are often taught to be polite before they are taught to be safe. Reinforce that they do not owe hugs, kisses, conversations, photos, or emotional labor to anyone, including family, friends, or people they admire. You might say, “You’re allowed to say no without explaining yourself. Being kind does not mean ignoring your boundaries.”

Can sexual harm happen between kids or teens the same age?

Yes. Age alone does not eliminate power differences. Emotional maturity, social pressure, popularity, size, gender, or access to images can all create imbalance. When one child feels unable to say no or feels pressured, that is a safety issue, even if both are minors. These situations require support, boundaries, and guidance, not shame or dismissal.

Can sexual violence happen without physical force?

Yes. Sexual violence often involves pressure, manipulation, power differences, or fear rather than physical force. This can be especially confusing for children and teens, who may think it “doesn’t count” if there was no violence or if the person was someone they knew. It helps to say, “If someone felt scared, pressured, or unable to say no, that matters. Harm is about impact, not just force.”

How do I explain consent to a child or teen in a way that actually makes sense?

Consent is best taught as an ongoing conversation, not a rule. It means everyone involved feels safe, clear, and free to change their mind. Silence, pressure, fear, or confusion mean consent is not present. You might say, “Consent should feel easy and mutual. If someone isn’t sure, isn’t responding, or feels pressured, the answer is stop.” This helps kids understand consent as a shared responsibility, not something one person takes from another.

How do I teach my child about boundaries without making them afraid of people?

Boundaries are not about danger. They are about self-awareness and choice. Children who understand boundaries feel more confident, not more fearful. Focus on helping your child notice what feels comfortable and uncomfortable in their body, rather than teaching them to watch for “bad people.” You can say, “Your body gives you signals. If something feels off, you’re allowed to listen to that feeling and speak up.” When boundaries are framed as self-trust, children learn that they don’t need a dramatic reason to say no.

What’s the biggest mistake parents make around digital and AI safety?

The biggest mistake is treating digital safety as a one-time conversation instead of an ongoing relationship. Technology changes quickly, especially with AI, social apps, gaming platforms, and group chats. A single talk about “being careful online” is not enough. Kids need regular, low-pressure conversations that evolve as they grow. Other common mistakes include: 1. Focusing only on rules instead of trust Strict rules without open communication can make kids hide mistakes or scary experiences. Kids are more likely to ask for help when they believe they will not be blamed or punished immediately. 2. Assuming older kids already know how to stay safe Teens may be comfortable with technology but still need guidance about pressure, consent, image sharing, AI-generated content, and manipulation online. 3. Waiting until there is a problem Conversations work best before something goes wrong. Discussing scenarios early gives kids language and confidence to respond if something happens. 4. Believing “my child would never…” Most risky situations happen because kids are curious, trusting, or caught off guard, not because they are reckless. Even very responsible kids can be targeted. 5. Ignoring how fast AI is changing social interactions AI can create realistic fake images, impersonate people, or blur what is real and what is not. Kids need help understanding that not everything they see online is genuine.

How often should I revisit safety conversations?

Think of safety as an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time talk. Short, regular check-ins work better than long lectures. As your child grows, the content of the conversation should grow with them. What matters most is that your child knows the door is always open, even when things are messy or uncomfortable.

What if my child feels embarrassed that they fell for something online?

Shame is one of the biggest barriers to safety. Kids who feel foolish or embarrassed are less likely to ask for help the next time. Respond with empathy, not correction. You can say, “This stuff is designed to trick people. Being fooled doesn’t mean you’re careless or naive. It means someone took advantage of trust.”

How do I talk to my child about false information or online rumors?

Explain that the internet can spread stories faster than truth can catch up, especially when AI and edited content are involved. Encourage your child to be skeptical of screenshots, clips without context, and anonymous posts. Teach them to pause before believing or sharing. This protects both them and others.

How do I teach my child to pause before reacting or responding online?

Online spaces are designed for speed and impulsivity. Teaching kids to pause is one of the most protective skills you can offer. You can practice this with language like, “You never have to respond right away. If something feels intense, confusing, or pressuring, that’s a sign to stop and check in with me or another trusted adult.”

What if my child is more tech-savvy than I am?

That’s very common, and it does not mean you’re powerless. You don’t need to know every app or feature to be effective. What children need most is an adult who can help them think critically, slow down, and make values-based decisions. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know everything about this app, but I do know about safety, respect, and how people can get hurt. Let’s figure it out together.”

How do I talk to my child about screenshots, forwarding, and digital permanence?

Children often assume messages are private because they feel private. Help them understand that anything sent digitally can be copied, saved, or shared without consent. Rather than warning them with fear, frame this as a protective skill. You might say, “Before sending something, it helps to ask, ‘Would I be okay if this was shared or misunderstood?’ If the answer is no, it’s safer not to send it.”

What should I tell my child about AI-generated images or videos of real people?

Be very clear that creating, sharing, or saving sexualized images of real people without their consent is harmful, even if the image is fake. For minors, this can also have serious legal consequences. You can say, “AI can make things that look real, but using it to embarrass, sexualize, or threaten someone is not okay. If you ever see something like that, or are asked to make or share it, I want to know so I can help.”

How do generative AI tools increase risks for kids and teens?

Generative AI can create images, videos, voices, and text that look real but are completely fabricated. This increases the risk of deepfake sexual images, impersonation, false accusations, and manipulation. It also blurs the line between reality and fiction, which is especially challenging for young people whose brains are still developing. Kids need help understanding that “real-looking” does not mean real, and that AI can be used to harm even when no physical contact occurs. This is a new kind of safety conversation, and it’s okay to learn alongside your child.

What’s the difference between curiosity and risk when it comes to sexual content?

Curiosity about bodies, relationships, and sex is developmentally normal. Risk enters when that curiosity is met with content that is explicit, degrading, violent, or misleading, especially when there is no adult guidance to help interpret it. The goal is not to shut down curiosity, but to redirect it toward accurate, age-appropriate information and open conversation. When children feel safe asking questions, they are less likely to rely on the internet to teach them.

How do algorithms actually put risky content in front of kids?

Most platforms are designed to maximize engagement, not safety. Algorithms track what users pause on, watch, or interact with and then recommend more intense or extreme content over time. This means a child can be shown sexualized, violent, or misogynistic material without ever searching for it. Explaining this to kids helps reduce shame. You might say, “Sometimes the internet shows people things because it keeps them scrolling, not because it’s healthy or appropriate.” Understanding this helps children feel less responsible for what appears on their screen.

How do I know whether something my child saw online is actually harmful, or just uncomfortable?

Discomfort is often the first signal of harm, especially for children. Kids don’t always have the language to say “this crossed a line,” but their bodies and emotions register it quickly. If your child felt scared, confused, ashamed, pressured, or unable to look away, that experience deserves attention even if it’s hard to label. You don’t need to decide whether it was “bad enough.” Your role is to help your child process what they saw and make sense of it in a grounded way. Saying, “That sounds like it was a lot to take in. I’m glad you told me,” is often enough to open the door.

How do I report possible child sexual abuse material?

1. Do not share, forward, or save the material beyond what is necessaryDo not send the content to others to ask their opinion. Sharing can unintentionally cause further harm and, in some cases, legal risk. If the material is already on a device, avoid repeated viewing. 2. Preserve evidence without interacting If the content is on your child’s device or account: Do not delete it right away Do not respond to or engage with anyone involved Take note of usernames, URLs, platform names, dates, and times Preserving evidence helps authorities and platforms act more effectively. 3. Report it to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) CyberTipline The CyberTipline is the primary, federally designated reporting system for CSAM in the United States. Reports can be made online or by phone You do not need proof or certainty You can report as a parent, caregiver, or concerned adult Once submitted, NCMEC coordinates with law enforcement and online platforms to investigate and remove material where possible. 4. Report the content on the platform where it appears Most social media platforms, gaming services, and messaging apps have reporting tools specifically for child sexual exploitation. Reporting helps platforms remove content quickly and prevent further sharing. 5. If your child is involved or targeted, seek support immediately If the material involves your child—whether images were shared, threatened, or created without consent—reach out for professional support right away. A local sexual violence resource agency like The Rowan Center, or Child Advocacy Center can help with: Safety planning Emotional support Guidance on next steps Help navigating reporting and image removal You do not need to go through this alone. 6. You may also contact local law enforcement If there is immediate danger, ongoing threats, or extortion, contacting local police is appropriate. Reporting to NCMEC does not require you to also report to police, but both options can work together depending on the situation.

What can I do to best support my child through this?

Believe them. Stay calm. Let them set the pace. Remind them often that they are not to blame and that they are not alone. Your steady presence matters more than perfect words.

Can an advocate speak with the police department to get updates if the client is afraid or overwhelmed?

Yes. Advocates can help communicate with law enforcement, provide updates, and reduce stress during the process.

What is the process after reporting to the police, and what is the court’s involvement?

The process after reporting to the police can vary depending on the circumstances of the case. Typically, law enforcement will begin a thorough investigation, gathering evidence and interviewing relevant parties. Once the investigation is complete, the evidence is submitted to prosecutors, who determine whether there is sufficient evidence to file charges or seek an arrest warrant. If charges are filed, the case then moves into the court system, where legal proceedings take place. There is no specific timeframe for how long this process may take, as each case is different. Throughout the investigation and court proceedings, survivors can receive support from advocates who help manage communication, explain next steps, and accompany them to court if needed. Survivors may also choose to apply for a protective order during this time, and advocates can assist them with that process as well.

Can I speak to an officer about my situation and later decide whether to make an official report?

You can speak to a police officer, and then make a decision to file charges. Speaking with an officer might be helpful so that way you get a better understanding on how the process might go before making any decision to press charges. Policies can vary by location, and there are some situations where officers may be required to act, especially when a minor is involved or there are immediate safety concerns. In CT there are also laws that do require police to arrest if there is probable cause in DV cases regardless of whether the victim does want to press charges.. But speaking with someone does not always mean you are automatically starting a criminal case. Before talking with law enforcement, it may help to know: You can ask questions about what reporting would look like before making a decision. You can bring a trusted adult, parent, or advocate with you for support. You can usually share as much or as little detail as you feel comfortable sharing at first. You are allowed to ask what happens next before moving forward. You may also consider talking with an advocate first. Advocates can help explain your choices, what reporting involves, and what support is available, without pressure to make a report.

Can I return for counseling services in the future?

Yes. Healing is not linear. Support can be revisited as needs change.

What happens during counseling sessions?

Sessions focus on safety, coping, and healing at the client’s pace. There is no pressure to relive details or share more than feels safe.

Do I have to attend individual counseling sessions to participate in support groups?

No. There is no requirement to be in individual counseling in order to participate in a support group, and there is no requirement to join a support group in order to receive individual counseling. At The Rowan Center, the goal is for people to receive the kind of support that feels right for them, in whatever form that takes. Some individuals benefit most from one-on-one counseling. Others find healing and validation through group support. Many people move between different types of support over time, and some choose only one. There is no “right” or “correct” path to healing. Support is not one-size-fits-all, and it does not need to follow a specific order. What matters is that individuals and families are able to access care in a way that feels safe, supportive, and aligned with their needs. If you’re unsure what might be helpful, you can talk with an advocate or counselor to explore options—without pressure or obligation.

What if I’m not sure my experience qualifies me for services?

You do not need certainty or a specific label to qualify for support. If something left you feeling confused, uncomfortable, or distressed, that is enough to reach out. You are always welcome to contact our team. We can ask a few simple screening questions and help connect you with the resources that best fit your needs. Reaching out does not commit you to any next steps, and support is available even if you are still figuring out what you experienced.

Can I get crisis counseling and still see my regular therapist?

Yes. Crisis counseling can complement ongoing therapy and provide additional support during acute periods.

Do I have to disclose my incident in detail to receive services?

No. You control what you share. Services do not require full disclosure or retelling details.

Do I need insurance or identification to receive counseling services?

No. Lack of insurance or identification should never be a barrier to care. The Rowan Center provides free and confidential counseling.

If I tell the police what happened, do I have to file charges against the perpetrator, or can I just talk to them?

Should I file a criminal case or a civil case, and what is the difference?

Criminal cases address violations of the law and are handled by the state. Civil cases seek accountability and damages for harm. Survivors can pursue one, both, or neither. This is a personal decision and can be made over time.

Should I have a lawyer?

Legal advice can be helpful in some situations, but it is not required to access support. Advocates can help explain when legal guidance might be useful.

Do I have to answer police questions after an assault?

No. You control what you share and when. You can ask questions or seek information without committing to a full statement.

How long do you have to report an assault? How long do you have to decide to prosecute after a kit is done? Are kits destroyed? How are people notified if there is a DNA match?

In Connecticut, you can report an assault anytime, but evidence collection for forensic analysis is best within 120 hours (5 days) of the assault, with a goal for police to submit kits within 10 days and labs to test within 60 days for anonymous (unreported) kits. Connecicut will store kits for 5 years, but even if that time passes and the kit is destroyed a victim may still report a sexual assult. Victims get notified of DNA matches through the system, though specific notification protocols can vary.

Is there still a backlog of sexual assault kits being tested in Connecticut?

No, Connecticut has not had a significant backlog of sexual assault kits since around 2018-2019, having implemented comprehensive reforms and secured funding to clear past issues and process new kits swiftly, even implementing tracking systems for victims.

Do all hospitals perform forensic exams?

In Conneticut, all Emergency Deparments are expected to be equipped to perform forensic exams. While Conneticut does particpate in the SANE program to provide specially trained nurses to perform forensic exams, not all Emergecy Departments will have one availble and in that case any nurse can perform a forensic exam by following the steps outlined in the SAFE (Sexual Assault Forensic Exam) Kit. Nationally, options differ and a sexual assualt advocate can assisst in ensuring victim/survivors get the care they need.

What is the court process in Connecticut?

If charges are pursued, the process can include investigation, charging decisions, court hearings, and possibly trial. This can take months or years. Survivors are not required to navigate this alone. Advocates can explain each step and provide support throughout.

How often is there an arrest? How often are cases prosecuted? How often do perpetrators go to prison?

Outcomes vary widely. Many sexual assault and sextortion cases do not result in arrest or prosecution, often due to evidentiary or legal barriers. This does not mean reporting was a mistake. Reporting can still lead to protection, documentation, and access to services.

What kind of help should I get for my daughter who was sexually assaulted? What type of therapist or therapy is recommended?

Trauma-informed care is key. Many survivors benefit from evidence-based trauma therapies such as EMDR or other trauma-focused approaches. What matters most is that your daughter feels safe, believed, and respected by the provider. Therapy should move at her pace and never force details.

Can the police do anything if someone in another country is sextorting my child?

Yes. While international cases are more complex, reporting still matters. Police reports help trigger platform intervention and coordinated responses. Support services and image-removal tools are available regardless of where the perpetrator is located.

What should I do if I find porn on my child’s phone?

Pause before reacting. Many children encounter sexual content unintentionally through algorithms, pop-ups, or peer sharing. Start with curiosity, not punishment. Ask what they saw, how it made them feel, and whether they had questions. Use the moment to talk about realism, consent, and boundaries, and then address safety settings and supervision calmly.

What should I do if something happens to my daughter at college? Should she report? What is the best way to report? Should I contact campus police or local police? What happens to the perpetrator?

Reporting is always a choice. Your daughter can start by speaking with a confidential advocate to understand her options without committing to anything. Colleges, campus police, and local police serve different roles. Campus reporting may address school-based protections, while local police handle criminal investigations. She does not have to decide right away. The most important first steps are safety, medical care if needed, and emotional support.

Can I call the helpline for anything, or does it need to be a crisis?

You can call the helpline for anything. It does not need to be a crisis. Many people reach out simply because they’re looking for information — to understand what services The Rowan Center provides, to learn what support options exist, or to figure out whether a concern fits with available resources. Others call because they want help thinking through a situation, even if nothing urgent is happening. You do not need to be in immediate danger, have a disclosure, or know exactly what you’re asking for. The helpline is a place to: Ask questions about services and programs Learn what support is available for children, teens, or families Get connected to local resources if needed Talk through a concern before deciding what to do next Calling early or just to gather information can actually make things feel more manageable. If you’re unsure, curious, or just want to understand your options, that is more than enough reason to reach out.

How can I tell if something is sexual assault if I’m not sure?

It is common to feel confused or unsure after an experience. Sexual assault does not always look the way people expect, and many situations can feel unclear at first. What matters most is how the interaction felt and whether boundaries or consent were respected. Some questions that may help someone think it through: Did anyone feel pressured, forced, scared, or unable to say no? Was there clear, willing agreement from everyone involved? Did someone ignore a “no,” hesitation, or body language showing discomfort? Was someone too intoxicated, asleep, or otherwise unable to truly agree? Did someone keep going after the other person wanted to stop? If consent was not clear, mutual, and ongoing, the situation may have crossed a line. It’s important to know: Sexual assault can happen between friends, dating partners, or people who know each other. Someone can freeze, feel confused, or not react right away. That does not mean it was okay. You do not have to be certain about labels to reach out for support. What your child can do if they’re unsure: Talk to a trusted adult, counselor, advocate, or another safe person. Write down what happened while details are fresh, if they feel comfortable doing so. Reach out for emotional support even if they are not ready to make a report.

What is the statute of limitations for reporting sexual assault?

In Connecticut, the time limits for reporting sexual assault depend on the age of the victim at the time of the assault and the type of offense. Importantly, Connecticut has expanded these laws significantly in recent years to give survivors more time. Listed below are general guidelines, but the actual statue of limitation can vary depending on the facts of the case. To get the best idea for your case, reach out to your local law enforcement or reach out to The Rowan Center and we can speak with our law enforecement partners. Here is how it works: If the survivor was a minor (under 18) at the time of the assault: There is NO statute of limitations for many felony sexual assault crimes against children. This means criminal charges can be brought at any time, even decades later, depending on the offense. For other child sexual abuse offenses, Connecticut allows prosecution many years after the survivor turns 18, often until their 40s or later, depending on the charge. What this means in practice: A person who was abused as a child can often report the assault well into adulthood, and law enforcement can still investigate. If the survivor was an adult (18 or older) at the time of the assault: For most felony sexual assaults, the statute of limitations is 20 years from the date of the assault. For certain serious felony offenses, prosecution may still be possible beyond that timeframe. Civil lawsuits (separate from criminal cases) Civil cases are different from criminal prosecution. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse in Connecticut can file a civil lawsuit up to age 51, and in some cases longer. Survivors assaulted as adults generally have a shorter window, but Connecticut has expanded civil options compared to many states. A civil case is about accountability and damages, not incarceration. Important things to know: Reporting is not the same as prosecuting. A survivor can talk to police, an advocate, or a counselor without committing to charges. You do not need to know the statute of limitations before seeking help. Advocates and law enforcement can explain options. Support services are available regardless of how much time has passed. Counseling, advocacy, and medical care are not limited by statutes of limitation.

If my family needs direct help, how does KidSafeHQ support that?

When direct services are needed, KidSafeHQ helps families connect with local, trusted community partners that provide crisis intervention, counseling, advocacy, medical accompaniment, or legal guidance. These partners are carefully vetted so families are not left searching blindly during stressful moments. The goal is to reduce confusion, shorten the path to help, and ensure families land with organizations experienced in supporting children and survivors.

If we were both drunk, who is at fault?

Consent requires the ability to make clear, informed choices. Alcohol can remove that capacity. Situations involving intoxication are complex and deserve careful, professional support. Someone can be drunk and give consent, but it does make it tricker. Blame is not determined by alcohol alone, and help is still available regardless of circumstances.

What are the requirements to qualify for support from KidsSafeHQ?

There are no requirements. You do not need proof, a disclosure, a report, or certainty. KidSafeHQ is available to anyone who has questions or concerns about child safety, whether you’re a parent, caregiver, educator, coach, or community member. If you’re wondering, “Is this something I should be worried about?” or “Who would even help with this?” — KidSafeHQ is an appropriate place to start.

What kind of assistance can I get from KidsSafeHQ?

KidSafeHQ provides education, guidance, and navigation support. This includes helping parents understand topics like online safety, sexual boundaries, sextortion, grooming, AI-related harms, and how systems like schools, platforms, or reporting processes work. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, unsure what something means, or trying to decide what to do next, KidSafeHQ helps you slow things down, get clear information, and identify appropriate local resources.

If I reach out to KidsSafeHQ, is my information considered private, confidential, and protected?

Yes. KidSafeHQ is designed to be a safe, respectful place to ask questions, even when you’re unsure how serious something is or what you want to do next. Information shared is handled thoughtfully and used to provide guidance and referrals, not judgment or pressure. KidSafeHQ does not function as a reporting agency or law enforcement entity. When questions involve safety concerns, families are given clear information about options and resources so they can make informed decisions.

Am I able to get services directly through KidsSafeHQ, or is this a resource for getting connected to services elsewhere?

KidSafeHQ is an education and connection hub, not a direct service provider. Its purpose is to help parents, caregivers, educators, and community members understand child safety concerns, sort through questions, and identify next steps when something doesn’t feel right. When families need direct support—such as crisis counseling, advocacy, or therapy—KidSafeHQ helps connect them to vetted, trusted local partners, including organizations like The Rowan Center, local sexual violence agencies, or Child Advocacy Centers (CACs). Think of KidSafeHQ as a knowledgeable guide that helps you find the right door, rather than expecting you to know where to go on your own.

What if both people are intoxicated?

If both people are intoxicated but still capable of understanding what is happening and communicating consent, consent may be legally possible. However, intoxication does not remove responsibility. Both people must still give consent, and if one person does not or cannot, the interaction is not consensual. When capacity is unclear, the safest and most responsible choice is to stop. Situations involving intoxication often require careful, professional guidance rather than quick judgments.

What does incapacitated mean?

Incapacitated means that a person is unable to give informed consent. This can result from alcohol, drugs, fear, unconsciousness, or other conditions that impair a person’s ability to understand what is happening or make clear decisions. Under Connecticut law, incapacitation means a person cannot understand what they are agreeing to or the possible consequences of that agreement. When someone is incapacitated, they are not able to legally consent, and anyone considering initiating sexual activity with them is responsible for choosing not to.

Can consent laws apply differently online?

Yes. Consent laws often apply differently online, especially when images, videos, or digital communication are involved — and this is an area where many parents are understandably confused. In Connecticut and across the U.S., the law treats online sexual activity involving images very differently from in-person sexual behavior, particularly when minors are involved. Here are the key distinctions parents should know: Images change the legal landscape When sexual images or videos are created, shared, or possessed, the law focuses on harm prevention, not intent. A minor cannot legally consent to the creation or sharing of sexual images of themselves. Even if two minors willingly exchange images, the law may still classify those images as child sexual abuse material (CSAM). This means something that feels mutual or consensual to teens can still be illegal online. Consent to send does not mean consent to share Online, consent is specific and limited. A child may consent to send a message or image to one person. That does not give permission for it to be saved, forwarded, posted, or threatened to be shared. If an image is shared beyond the original context, consent has been violated—even if the image was sent voluntarily. Pressure, coercion, and fear matter Just as offline, consent online must be freely given. If a child feels pressured, rushed, afraid of losing someone, or threatened, consent is not valid. This is especially important in cases of sextortion, grooming, or repeated requests. Why this feels confusing to kids and teens Teens often understand consent through a relationship lens (“I trusted them,” “We were dating”). The law, however, looks at risk and permanence. Once an image exists digitally, it can be copied, altered, or shared indefinitely—which is why the standards are stricter online.

At what age should my child be allowed to use social media?

There is no single right age. Readiness depends on maturity, supervision, and support. Start later, go slowly, and revisit often. Online resources like Common Sense Media can offer guidance beyond what limited suggestions platforms might offer. Depending on the age of your child, it can also make sense to have these conversations with them. Discuss their desires and concerns and look for ways to find common ground on social media access.

What should I do if someone threatens to share my child’s photos?

This is sextortion. Do not negotiate or pay. Save evidence, stop contact, report the account, and file a report with NCMEC or local law enforcement. Provide reassurance to your child, since threats are often designed to create fear and isolation.

Can messages or photos be shared without my child’s permission?

Yes. Once something is sent online, it can be copied, saved, or shared by others, even when that is against rules or expectations. This is why it is important to talk about digital boundaries and thinking before sharing.

What should my child do if someone screenshots their messages?

They cannot always prevent screenshots, but they can control what they share going forward. Encourage your child to stop sending personal content, save evidence if needed, and tell a trusted adult if the screenshot is being used to threaten or embarrass them.

What are the warning signs that someone online may be unsafe for my child?

Warning signs include someone who: Tries to move conversations to private or secret channels Asks for photos or personal information Encourages secrecy from parents or friends Offers gifts, money, or favors Makes conversations sexual or uncomfortable Claims to be a peer but avoids video or real-life verification Teach kids that trusted adults never pressure them to keep secrets.

What is grooming, and how does it happen online?

Grooming is when someone builds trust with a child or teen in order to manipulate or exploit them. Online, this may start with compliments, gifts in games, private messages, or conversations that slowly become more personal or sexual. Grooming often happens gradually, which is why it can be hard for kids to recognize at first.

Can sexual assault happen between friends or partners?

Yes. Consent must always be clear, mutual, and ongoing, regardless of friendship or dating status. Being in a relationship does not remove the need for consent.

Can sexual harassment happen between people the same age?

Yes. Sexual harassment is about behavior, not age differences. It can happen between peers, classmates, teammates, or friends.

What if someone won’t stop after my child asks them to?

That is a clear boundary violation. Encourage your child to seek adult help immediately. Persistence after a “no” is not a misunderstanding.

How do I know if behavior is unwanted?

Signs may include someone saying stop, avoiding interaction, pulling away, or seeming uncomfortable. Silence or uncertainty does not equal agreement. Teaching kids to notice and respect boundaries is key.

Can flirting turn into harassment?

Yes. When behavior continues after discomfort or a request to stop, it becomes harassment. Teach your child that consent must be ongoing and mutual.

What is sexual harassment?

Sexual harassment is unwanted behavior of a sexual nature that makes someone feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or pressured. It can include comments, jokes, messages, requests for photos, or physical actions. It can happen in person, at school, or online.

What if the picture was sent as a joke?

Even when intended as a joke, sharing sexual images or content involving minors can still cause harm and may have serious consequences. Help your child understand that humor does not remove impact or risk. Encourage them to delete the image after reporting or showing a trusted adult and avoid passing it along. Take the situation seriously while staying calm.

Can my child get in trouble for having a picture someone else sent them?

Laws vary by state, but explicit images involving minors can sometimes carry legal risk even if they were received, not requested. The most important step is to not forward, save unnecessarily, or share the image and to tell a trusted adult right away. If this happens, focus on safety and guidance rather than punishment so your child feels safe coming to you. Children often fear blame, so ensure they know you will not blame them if they have not done anything wrong and advocate for them if others are not in alignment with this goal.

What should I do if someone is threatening my child with their photos?

Stay calm and reassure your child that they are not in trouble. Do not send money, gift cards, or additional photos. Save screenshots, stop contact, and report the situation to the platform and local law enforcement. You can also file a report with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) through the CyberTipline. Your child’s safety and emotional support come first.

Should my child save messages or delete them?

If something feels unsafe, threatening, or inappropriate, it is usually best to save messages first. Screenshots or saved chats can help with reporting to schools, platforms, or law enforcement. After evidence is saved, your child can block or report the person. Avoid continuing conversations with someone who is making them uncomfortable.

Why is it illegal for minors to send intimate images?

The law exists to protect children from exploitation and long-term harm. Once an image exists, it can be shared beyond control. Even when teens willingly send images, the risks are significant and can be lifelong.

What counts as sexting?

Sexting includes sending or receiving sexual images, videos, or messages. Even suggestive images can count, depending on context. For minors, any sexual image of a child is legally considered abuse material, regardless of intent.

What should I do if my child sees something scary or upsetting online?

Start by listening without minimizing. Ask what they saw and how it made them feel. Remind them that the internet can expose people to things they didn’t choose. If needed, take breaks from the platform and provide reassurance and grounding before problem-solving.

What if someone creates a fake account pretending to be me?

That can be just annoying, or super scary! Tell a trusted adult, and report the account to the platform and document everything you can. Remember that you did not do anything wrong!

Should my child block or report someone online?

Blocking can stop immediate contact, but reporting is important when there is harassment, sexual content, threats, or repeated behavior. Teach your child to save evidence first. Reassure them that reporting is about safety, not getting someone “in trouble.”

How do I set privacy settings on my child’s accounts?

Privacy settings should be reviewed together, not secretly. Walk through who can see posts, send messages, comment, or tag them. Emphasize that privacy settings are a safety tool, not a guarantee. Let your child know they can always ask for help adjusting settings if something feels off. A great resource for setting privacy settings on different social media platforms and games is:

What if all my friends are allowed on social media, but I’m not?

This can be really frustrating! It can feel like you are being left out and missing out on what your friends are doing. Different families often have different rules for things, and that includes social media. If you feel really strongly about it, you can try sharing specific reasons why you're feeling left out with your grown-ups. For example: "I've been feeling left out of my friend group, because they all are in a Snapchat group chat and I'm not. They try to keep me updated and share with me what's going on, but it's still annoying." You can also ask your parents what their concern is about each platform and work together to see if there are settings and adjustments that can be made to make it safer for you. For example, you're allowed to use Snapchat with your friends, but your grown-ups check your friend list periodically to make sure you're only talking to friends on it.

Why do apps have age limits?

Age limits exist because children’s brains, judgment, and impulse control are still developing. Many platforms contain adult content, targeted advertising, private messaging, and algorithmic recommendations that can expose kids to sexual content, harassment, or exploitation before they are emotionally equipped to process it. Age limits are not about morality or trust. They are about risk reduction during key developmental stages.

What should my child say or avoid saying to someone who was hurt?

Some things they can say are:“Thank you for trusting me with this” “Is there anything I can do to support you?” “I know a good resource we can call, do you want me to call with you?” “It wasn’t your fault.” Some things to not say: -don’t ask them if they are sure -Don’t share what was shared with them unless it is to a trusted adult for support for themselves or to get help for their friend if they are in danger

How can I support my child if one of their friends experienced harm?

Let your child know that you are there to support them, and if there are ways you can support their friend, offer that as well. Remind your child that supporting someone who has experienced harm can be difficult, and it is okay if they feel upset or overwhelmed. Tell them that they can always talk to you if they need help navigating the situation, and address setting boundaries with the friend or getting your child some counseling if appropriate.

How can my child help in a situation without putting themselves in danger?

Sometimes directly speaking up against a situation might not be safe, but an indirect intervention can, like creating a distraction. If they do not feel safe to intervene, they can tell a trusted adult, an accessible authority figure, or report to law enforcement.

What should my child do if they see something unsafe happening?

If they can safely intervene, they can directly address the situation and ask the target or targets if they are okay. They can also try creating a distraction to break up whatever is happening. If they do not feel safe to intervene, they can tell a trusted adult, an accessible authority figure, or report to law enforcement.

Can my child get in trouble for reporting something that happened at a party?

Law enforcement best practice is to prioritize the report of sexual violence and not charge the reporting individual with underage drinking as long as they were not putting others in harm's way (drunk driving, for example). How family, school, and the community respond will vary depending on values, rules, and policies. Some local jurisdictions have strict hosting laws that may be enforced if your child shares details when reporting, allowing an investigation into the party. It is always, always encouraged for community to support anyone reporting sexual violence, and you are encouraged to stand by your child if the community response is not supportive. However, it is not wrong for your family and child to take the community response into account when deciding how to proceed after sexual violence. Healing can, and often does, happen in private.

Should my child seek help even if alcohol was involved?

Yes, being drunk does not mean that someone is at fault for sexual violence they experience, and an aggressor being drunk does not absolve them of responsibility. Law enforcement best practice is to prioritize the report of sexual violence and not charge the reporting individual with underage drinking as long as they were not putting others in harm's way (drunk driving, for example).

What should I do if my child does not remember what happened?

Having no memory of an event is a common experience after a traumatic experience. It can also be a side effect (or intended effect) of the consumption of a drug or alcohol. If your child does not remember what happened, do not push them to try to recall what happened. Blocking out a memory is a coping mechanism to help deal with a traumatic experience and trying to access those memories may be retraumatizing if not done with the assistance of the proper therapeutic methods. If you believe your child was given a drug without their knowledge by an aggressor, take them to an emergency room where they can have their blood taken for testing. Drugs commonly used in this manner (sometimes referred to as “date rape drugs”) often leave the system quickly, so the sooner this is done, the more accurate the test will be. Drugs taken voluntarily will also likely show up on these kinds of tests. If sexual violence (including attempted) is involved, law enforcement's best practice is to prioritize the report of sexual violence and not charge the reporting individual with personal use of illegal substances.

How can my child help a friend who is too drunk?

Teach your child that the goal is safety first, not trying to handle the situation alone. A friend who is very intoxicated may be at risk for accidents, assault, or alcohol poisoning. 1. Stay with them and don’t leave them alone Encourage your child to stay nearby or make sure another trusted friend is present. A person who is very drunk is more vulnerable and may not be able to make safe decisions. 2. Get help from a trusted adult Your child should contact a safe adult, parent, host, school staff member, or call for medical help if needed. Getting adult help is responsible, not getting someone in trouble. 3. Help them get to a safe place If possible, move them away from crowds or unsafe situations and make sure they are with people they trust. 4. Never let them drive or go with someone they don’t know well Offer to help arrange a safe ride or call a trusted adult for transportation. 5. Know when it is an emergency Call 911 right away if the person: Cannot stay awake or is unconscious Is vomiting repeatedly Is breathing slowly or irregularly Has cold, pale, or bluish skin Seems confused or cannot respond It is always better to call for help too early than too late. 6. Avoid myths about sobering up Coffee, cold showers, or walking around do not make someone sober faster. Time and medical care are what help.

What should my child do if they see someone being taken advantage of?

If they can safely intervene, they can directly address the situation and ask the person being taken advantage of if they are okay. They can also try distracting the aggressor by starting an unrelated conversation with them and having a friend get the target away in the meantime. If they do not feel safe to intervene, they can tell a trusted adult, an accessible authority figure, or report to law enforcement.

Can someone consent if they are drunk or high at a party?

In Connecticut, if someone is drunk or high, they can legally give consent as long as they are not drunk or high to the point of incapacitation. The standard for incapacitation in Connecticut is if someone cannot understand what they’re agreeing to or possible consequences of engaging in an activity. If someone is incapacitated, even if they say “yes” to sexual activity, that does not meet the legal standard for consent. It is still important to make sure you feel confident that someone wants to engage in a sexual activity before you initiate it when someone is drunk or high, even if they are not incapacitated and can legally give consent.

What happens if consent laws are different in different states?

The law applies to the state the sexual activity happens in, regardless of the state the individuals involved are residents of.

Why can teens legally consent to sex but not sexting?

The laws that determine the age of consent are from each state, but the laws about sending sexual pictures and videos of minors are more uniform because this can happen more easily across state lines. There are risks for sending sexual pictures and videos to anyone under the age of 18.

Does something being legal mean it is safe or healthy for my child?

Just because something is legal does not mean it is healthy, safe, or developmentally appropriate for your child. Laws are created through political and historical processes that do not always reflect the most up-to-date and best ways to keep children safe and healthy, and they are not individual to your child.

Who is responsible when there is an age difference?

If there is an age difference, it is the older person’s responsibility to make sure the person they’re with is old enough and they will face consequences if they are not.

Can someone my child’s age legally consent to sex?

The age of consent in Connecticut is 16, so if your child is 16 or older, they can consent to sexual activity with anyone older than them.* If your child is between the ages of 14 and 15, they are exempt from the age of consent law as long as the person they are engaging in sexual activity with is less than 3 years apart in age from them. Examples: 14, 16 15, 16 15, 17 Under age 13, they must be less than 2 years apart in age to be exempted. To be clear, this does not mean that sexual activity at this age is appropriate; it just recognizes that prison is an inappropriate intervention. *This is overridden if the older person is in a position of power, like a teacher, boss, camp counselor OR if they are given anything of value in exchange for the sexual activity. In any of these cases, it would be illegal.

What is the age of consent?

The age of consent differs from state to state. In Connecticut, the age of consent is 16.* If a child is between the ages of 14 and 15, they are exempt from the age of consent law as long as the person they are engaging in sexual activity with is less than 3 years apart in age from them. Examples: 14, 16 15, 16 15, 17 Under age 13, they must be less than 2 years apart in age to be exempted. To be clear, this does not mean that sexual activity at this age is appropriate; it just recognizes that prison is an inappropriate intervention. *This is overridden if the older person is in a position of power, like a teacher, boss, camp counselor OR if they are given anything of value in exchange for the sexual activity. In any of these cases, it would be illegal. You can find other state age of consent laws at World Population Review

Why do people blame victims instead of perpetrators?

Victim blaming often happens because it is deeply uncomfortable for people to confront the reality that someone they know, respect, or trusted caused harm. Placing blame on the victim can feel easier than accepting that a perpetrator chose to commit sexual violence. People may also speak from unprocessed emotions such as shock, denial, fear, or confusion. When these thoughts are expressed out loud instead of worked through privately or with professional support, they can unintentionally cause further harm to victims who are already coping with trauma. Cultural factors also play a role. In U.S. society, long-standing patriarchal beliefs often minimize violence committed by men and place higher expectations or scrutiny on women and marginalized people. Holding perpetrators accountable challenges these power structures, which can lead individuals or communities to redirect blame instead of addressing the harm directly.

What is victim blaming?

Victim blaming is when someone says something that directly or indirectly implies the victim of sexual violence (or any kind of violence) was partially or fully at fault. Examples: “What were they wearing?” “They shouldn’t have gotten so drunk.” “Why didn’t they carry pepper spray?” “What did they think was going to happen, flirting like that?”

Can sexual violence happen without physical force?

Yes, someone can use pressure or coercion: “Well, if you loved me, you’d have sex with me!” “Why don’t you want to have sex? Are you gay? Only men who are gay don’t want it.” Take advantage of vulnerability: Someone is asleep. They are very intoxicated or have been drugged. They do not understand what they are agreeing to because it is not developmentally appropriate. They do not understand what they are agreeing to because they have an intellectual or developmental disability* Use their power over them: “If you don’t do this sexual favor for me, I will give you an F/bench you/fire you.” “If you don’t do this with me, I’ll do it to your sister instead.” *Most disabled people, including most people with intellectual and developmental disabilities, desire and can have romantic and sexual relationships. But SOME people with disabilities cannot consent.

Can sexual assault happen between friends or dating partners?

Yes. Sexual assault can happen in friendships or dating relationships. Being friends, texting regularly, or being in a relationship does not mean someone has permission to ignore boundaries. Consent must be clear, mutual, and ongoing. Someone can change their mind at any time, and pressure, guilt, or intimidation are not consent. Talking with teens about respect, communication, and listening when someone says no helps prevent harm and builds healthier relationships.

Can sexual harassment happen between kids or teens of the same age?

Yes. Sexual harassment is about behavior, not age differences. It can happen between peers in the same grade, on the same team, or within friend groups. Because peers often share classes, social circles, or online spaces, kids sometimes feel pressure to stay quiet. Let your child know they deserve to feel safe and respected regardless of who the other person is.

What should my child do if someone will not stop after being asked to?

If someone continues after being asked to stop, your child can: Be clear and direct when safe to do so. Example: “I said stop. I don’t like this.” Create space by leaving the situation, blocking the person online, or stepping away from the conversation. Save messages or screenshots if the behavior is happening digitally. Tell a trusted adult such as a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, or another safe adult. Report the behavior through school or platform reporting systems when appropriate. Remind kids that setting boundaries is not rude. Respecting “no” is a basic expectation.

How can my child tell if the behavior from someone else is unwanted?

Kids and teens can look for both words and body language. Signs that someone may be uncomfortable include: Saying “no,” “stop,” or “I’m not into this” Pulling away or creating distance Avoiding eye contact or looking uncomfortable Not responding or giving short, forced answers Laughing nervously or seeming uneasy It is important to teach kids that silence or uncertainty is not the same as agreement. Healthy interaction means both people feel comfortable and respected.

Can flirting turn into sexual harassment among kids or teens?

Yes. Flirting becomes sexual harassment when it is unwanted, makes someone uncomfortable, or continues after someone has shown they are not interested. What may feel playful or harmless to one person can feel embarrassing, pressured, or unsafe to another. Repeated comments about someone’s body, sexual jokes, requests for photos, or touching without permission can cross the line if the behavior is not welcome. A helpful rule for teens: if it is not clearly mutual, respectful, and wanted, it is time to stop.

What is sexual harassment in school or youth settings?

Sexual harassment is any unwanted attention that is sexual in nature, relates to romantic relationships, someone’s body, or their sexual or gender identity. Sexual harassment can be verbal, non-verbal, written, digital, and physical. Examples: - Sue asks John out 3 times in one week, even though he said no each time. - Drew told Paul that wearing pink means he’s gay. - Sophie makes a sexual hand gesture at the lunch table. - Fredrick loudly calls his friend a homophobic slur in the hallway. His friend Jordan laughs, but as Bobby walks by, he hears this and feels upset and unsafe. - Abigail touches Debora’s hair. - Jennifer texts Gabriella a sexual photo of herself. - John writes on the bathroom wall, “Greg loves Alex.” Alex and Greg did not want this kind of attention on their relationship.

How can I help get an image of my child taken down if it was shared online?

If an image of your child has been shared online without permission, act quickly, but try to stay calm. There are clear steps you can take to help remove the image and protect your child. 1. Do not share or repost the image Avoid forwarding, downloading, or redistributing the image, even when trying to ask others for help. Instead, save only what is needed for reporting. 2. Capture evidence first Before reporting, take screenshots showing: The website or app Usernames or account names URLs or links Dates and messages connected to the post This information helps platforms and law enforcement investigate. 3. Report the content directly to the platform Most social media sites, gaming platforms, and apps have tools to report child sexual content or non-consensual image sharing. Use the in-app reporting feature and select the most serious safety option available. 4. Use the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) You can file a report through the CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org. NCMEC works with technology companies and law enforcement to help remove child sexual abuse material. 5. Use “Take It Down” for minors NCMEC’s Take It Down tool allows young people and caregivers to create a secure digital fingerprint (hash) of an image, which participating platforms use to detect and prevent sharing or re-uploading. Website: takeitdown.ncmec.org 6. Consider contacting law enforcement If someone is threatening your child, demanding money, or continuing to distribute images, contact your local police department. Sextortion and image-based abuse are crimes. 7. Support your child emotionally Children often feel scared or ashamed after images are shared. Reassure them they are not to blame and that you are working together to fix the situation.

What if an explicit picture was sent to my child as a joke?

If the picture is of a peer and was sent to them by a peer without their consent they should not keep it unless it is evidence of ongoing harassment (for example, from an ex girlfriend or boyfriend). If they wish to do so, they can report to school or law enforcement so they can address it. If the picture is of an adult or older child (or of a peer but sent by an adult or older child) they can keep it as evidence for making a report.

Can my child get in trouble for having an explicit picture someone else sent them?

Your child can get in trouble (at school, as well as get into legal trouble) for having an explicit picture of a peer that someone else sent them, especially if they asked for it or sent it on to other people. If the picture of a peer was sent to them without their consent, they should not keep it unless it is evidence of ongoing harassment (for example, from an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend). If the picture is of an adult or older child, they will not get in trouble for having the picture and can keep it as evidence when reporting.

What is sextortion, and how does it affect children and teens?

Sextortion is when someone manipulates someone until they trust them enough to send a sexual picture or video, then that person threatens to release the sexual content if the person does not meet their demands. Sextortion can happen to anyone of any age, but with increasing access to the internet, young people are at increasing risk. Sextortion can have an effect on a child or teen’s mental health, social lives, self-esteem, and more. Some young people have died by suicide after being sextorted. It is very important that you talk to your child about sextortion and make sure they know they can come to you about it without getting in trouble so that they can get help if it happens to them.

What should I do if my child already sent a picture and now regrets it?

Thank your child for coming to you and trusting you. Tell them that you will work on this with them to address it the best you can.If the picture can be unsent, do so. If they have a good relationship with the recipient and that person is a peer, they can ask that person to delete it.If the picture is Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM):If the person they sent it to is an adult or older child, you and your child can report this to law enforcement. Law enforcement should not arrest your child, but if you have concerns, we recommend reaching out to us and scheduling one of our advocates to accompany you and your child when you make a report. If they are a peer, you may still take this route as well, especially if they do not respect your child asking them to delete it.If the person releases the picture onto the internet or threatens to, you and your child can use Take It Down, a service from The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), to help address the leak, on top of making a report to law enforcement. Your child has made a mistake, but it is important to remember that they are still developing. This mistake is easy to make but can have very steep consequences, and children should be able to safely learn lessons without the kinds of consequences they are now being exposed to.

Should my child save messages or delete them if something unsafe happens online?

If you and/or your child wish to report the unsafe actions, keeping messages can be helpful to provide evidence.

Why is it illegal for minors to send intimate images, even of themselves?

There is always risk associated with these types of images, so the law is very strict. However, law enforcement is not likely to arrest a minor for sending an intimate image of themselves.

What counts as sexting involving minors?

The term sexting can mean any kind of sexual content sent on an app or online platform. This can be text-based content (like a text message describing a sex act), emojis (like the eggplant emoji), sending links to explicit content, and sending sexual pictures and videos of themselves or others.The most common use of the word is referring to sexual pictures or videos.

What should I do if someone creates a fake account pretending to be my child?

Report to the platform and local law enforcement. You can also make a report with The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC).

How do I help my child set privacy settings on their accounts?

Research the privacy settings on each app or program they are using. Then with them, show them how you are setting up the settings to keep them safe. Some apps or programs may allow you to set a password so that only you, as the adult, can change the privacy and safety settings. Make sure to check the settings regularly, because as apps and programs update, sometimes new privacy settings are added.

What if all of my child’s friends are allowed on social media, but my child isn’t?

This can be challenging, but you are allowed to maintain different rules and boundaries for your family. One thing to keep in mind is that even if your child is not allowed on social media, they will likely still be able to figure out a way to access it if they really want to, and may be exposed to it by their friends regardless. You will need to communicate with and educate your child about social media even if they are not allowed access. Remember that more restrictions may keep your child safe, but without open and honest communication with your child and having their trust they may seek to access these platforms anyway. They will then be less safe since they are now doing so without your guidance. This is a difficult balance to find, but it is important for your child’s safety. If you have the capacity and commitment, you can also connect with your child’s friends’ parents and come to an agreement about social media rules so that your child and their friends will not have different access to social media.

How can I tell if someone online is lying about who they are to my child?

You cannot. It is always safer to assume that anyone that your child is connected to solely online is unsafe. The only way to know if it is someone who is safe is if you know them in real life and have contact information to speak to them and confirm who it is.

Are pictures of certain body parts considered inappropriate, even if they seem harmless?

Any requests for pictures that are specific about the pose, body part, or clothing should be considered a red flag. Even if you do not recognize how it could be inappropriate, a specific request indicates that it is not harmless.

What should I tell my child to do if someone asks them for pictures?

Your child should always know that they can come to you if someone asks them something they’re not sure about. They should come to you if anyone asks them for pictures, and unless it is a trusted person (a known, trusted method of communication with a real-life trusted person. For example: a text from grandma from her phone number) you should tell them not to send the pictures. Occasionally, safe interactions can happen online, but the risk of it not being safe is too high, and there is no way to be sure that an online contact is safe.

What information should my child keep private online?

Any idenifying information should not be shared online. This includes things like their address, full name, and birthday, as well as photos and videos of themselves.

What if everyone else thinks it’s funny, but I don’t?

Sometimes people have different experiences and that means they might find something funny, but someone else doesn’t. If you feel brave, you can speak up and say that you don’t think it’s funny and you can explain why it hurt you or might be hurtful to someone else.If it was something hurtful, you can also always talk to a trusted adult about it. Especially if it was at school or at an activity, the adults there must address it so you can be comfortable there.

How do I tell a friend to stop without ruining the friendship?

One way you can make it easier is to start with a compliment or something positive:“I know you really care about me and…”“You always say the most supportive things, so maybe you didn’t realize X thing was hurtful…”Then you want to make sure you clearly set the boundary:“When you call me a big back it really hurts my feelings. Stop calling me that.”Or:“I told you that when you call me that it upsets me. If you keep calling me that, I can’t be friends with you anymore.”Sometimes, if someone is not respecting boundaries or hurting you or others, it means they need to learn more about friendship before they can be a good friend, and you might have to spend less time with them or not spend time with them at all, because friends don’t hurt each other and friends respect each other's boundaries.

Can I ask for another adult to be present during a medical exam?

Yes! If you want your doctor’s office to have someone from there chaperone your medical exam instead of a parent or guardian, you can ask! You can ask for a chaperone for any exam, even if your parent or guardian wasn’t even going to be there.

What should I tell my child to do if a doctor, nurse, or school staff member makes them uncomfortable?

Thank your child for telling you and affirm that they did the right thing by listening to their feelings and telling a trusted adult. You can ask them open-ended questions like: “Can you tell me more?” or, if appropriate, “What would help you feel more comfortable?" Decide how you are going to proceed. In some cases, if your child discloses the person engaging in specific unsafe behaviors (such as trying to spend one-on-one time with them or making comments about their body), reporting the individual may be necessary. You may also take steps to ensure your child does not have to interact with this individual again, even if they did not engage in a specific unsafe behavior. A feeling of discomfort is enough. If it was a healthcare professional, reinforce the clean and healthy rule: “even though I and the other grown-ups responsible for you may still say you need to get certain care to make sure you are healthy, you are always allowed to tell me if something makes you uncomfortable. We can always talk about what the procedure is and why you need to get it, and ways to help you feel more comfortable.” Examples of adjustments to make children more comfortable with medical procedures: - Request a clinician of the same gender to perform the exam - Nurse or someone else chaperone the exam instead of the parent/guardian - Meet the clinician at the initial visit without performing any exams of the private parts of the body. Come back for another visit for a physical exam - Use dolls or stuffed animals to demonstrate procedures beforehand - Leave clothing on and move it to the side as needed to perform a physical exam - Allow the child to ask as many questions as they need

Can men and boys experience sexual assault?

Yes, anyone can experience sexual assault regardless of gender. The Rowan Center serves all people, regardless of gender.

What should my child do if someone sends them an explicit photo?

Thank them for coming to you and trusting you with this information. If the photo is of a peer and there are no concerns about harassment of your child, they should delete it right away. You or the two of you together can report this to their school so they can make sure it gets addressed appropriately. If the photo is from an adult, and older minor, or if this message reflects ongoing or possible ongoing harassment (for example, if the photo is from an ex-boyfriend or -girlfriend), your child should not delete the photo as it is evidence. If it is a peer, then you and your child can discuss reporting to school and/or the police; if it is an adult or older peer, report to law enforcement.

Additional resources to help kids and families stay safer online

Google: http://families.google/ Meta: http://familycenter.meta.com Snapchat: https://parents.snapchat.com Roblox: http://civility.roblox.com/families

What is sextortion and who is most at risk?

Sextortion is when someone threatens to share sexual images or conversations in order to gain control over another person. Children, teens, and adults of all genders can be targeted, with recent trends showing a significant increase among middle and high school boys. Risk increases when secrecy, shame, or fear of punishment or consequences are present.

What if my child already sent a picture and regrets it?

Regret is common. Shame keeps many children silent at this stage. Your response matters enormously. You must say clearly, “I’m really glad you told me. You’re not in trouble. We’ll deal with this together.” That reassurance often determines whether a child accepts help or retreats further.

I’ve heard kids are seeing pornography very young. How do I talk to my middle schooler about this?

Many children are first exposed to pornography around age 11, often without searching for it. Social media algorithms, group chats, and suggested videos push sexualized content to young users. Start by naming that reality so your child doesn’t feel accused. You might say, “A lot of sexual content shows up online even when kids aren’t looking for it. If you’ve seen things like that, I want to help you make sense of it.” Be clear that pornography is scripted and exaggerated. It does not show real consent, real bodies, or real relationships. Curiosity is normal. Porn is not a healthy teacher. What to do next: Set expectations about not sharing images or sexual messages Reinforce that questions are always welcome Review privacy and message settings together If your child is distressed, consider a school counselor or therapist Amaze: Porn is not Sex Ed, Askable Parent Guide to Porn

What if my child shuts down when I try to talk about safety?

That usually means they feel overwhelmed or afraid of judgment. Try shorter, lower-pressure conversations. Talk while driving, walking, or doing something side by side. Let them know the conversation doesn’t have to end with solutions. You can say, “We don’t have to figure everything out right now. I just want you to know I’m here whenever you’re ready.”

What if I’m worried my child could hurt someone without realizing it?

That concern shows you’re thinking protectively. Many young people lack clear guidance about consent, boundaries, and digital permanence. These are skills that must be taught, not assumed. Talk openly about slowing down, checking in, respecting uncertainty, and stepping back when something isn’t clearly welcomed. Make it clear that when in doubt, the safest and most respectful choice is always to pause.These are skills that can also be modeled and practiced in non-sexual contexts, so model respect for your child's boundaires as well as for others. Reinforce them when they respond respectfully and approprately to a "no."

How do I respond if my child says something sexual or offensive they learned online?

Pause before reacting. This is often a sign of exposure, not intent. Responding with shock or punishment can shut down disclosure. You can say, “I’m glad you said that out loud so we can talk about it. Where did you hear that?” Then gently explain why the language or idea is harmful and what a healthier alternative looks like. This approach teaches without shaming.

What if my child is curious about sex but I’m not ready for that conversation?

If your child is curious, the conversation has already started, whether with you or elsewhere. You don’t need to give every detail at once. It’s okay to say, “That’s a good question. Let’s talk about what you’re wondering right now.” Children benefit most from honest, age-appropriate answers and knowing that questions are welcome. Silence or avoidance often sends them to less reliable sources.

How do I balance monitoring my child’s online activity with respecting their privacy?

This balance changes with age and maturity. Younger children need more oversight. Teens need increasing privacy paired with ongoing conversation. What matters most is transparency. Let your child know what you are monitoring and why. You might say, “My job is to keep you safe, not to spy on you. As you show responsibility, we’ll adjust these boundaries together.” When monitoring is framed as protection rather than suspicion, children are less likely to hide.

What if my child is exposed to sexual content before I think they’re ready?

This happens far more often than parents expect, and it does not mean you failed. Exposure often occurs earlier than families plan for, sometimes through peers or algorithms. If you discover this has happened, resist the urge to panic or punish. Your child needs help interpreting what they saw. You can say, “I’m really glad you told me. A lot of what’s online doesn’t show real bodies, real relationships, or real consent. Let’s talk about what questions you have.” When parents respond calmly, children are far more likely to keep coming back with questions.

How do I know if my child is being influenced by harmful online content without telling me?

Children don’t always have the words to describe what they’re absorbing online. Instead, changes often show up in behavior, mood, or language. You might notice increased secrecy, sudden anger, withdrawal, anxiety, changes in sleep, or new phrases that seem out of character. Rather than confronting them with suspicion, approach with curiosity. You can say, “I’ve noticed you seem more stressed lately, and I want to check in. Is there anything online or at school that’s been bothering you?” This keeps the focus on their well-being rather than monitoring or control.

What if I do everything right and something still happens?

No parent can eliminate all risk. Protection comes from connection, not perfection. A child who knows they can come to you, even when things go wrong, is safer than a child who believes they must handle everything alone.

How do I rebuild my child’s confidence and sense of safety?

Confidence returns when children feel believed, supported, and empowered. Give them choices where you can. Ask what feels helpful. Let them see that mistakes or harm do not define them. Your steady presence over time is more powerful than any single intervention.

What if therapy isn’t accessible or my child doesn’t want it?

Healing does not require perfect access. Trusted adults, school counselors, consistent routines, and supportive relationships all matter. If your child resists therapy, respect that and revisit later. Choice restores control, which is essential after harm.

How do I know if my child is healing or just hiding distress after something unsafe happened?

Healing rarely looks like a straight line. Some children seem fine at first and struggle later. Others show distress immediately and then stabilize. Pay attention to patterns over time. Changes in sleep, mood, school engagement, irritability, withdrawal, or anxiety that persist are signals to slow down and offer more support. You don’t need to wait for a crisis to get help.

How do I talk to my child about respecting others’ boundaries and consent without making them afraid of being accused?

This is a very real fear for parents, especially of boys. The key is to teach responsibilty and empathy, not fear. Focus on what respectful behavior actually looks like. Model respecting boundaires in everyday settings, like asking for hugs from friends or loved ones. Have conversations about empathy, and ask about situations "how do you think they were feelings?" As they get older, talk about consent more explicitly. Consent is a clear, enthusiastic yes that can change at any time. Uncertainty means pause. Fear or power differences mean consent isn’t possible. Discuss conversations happening on social media about mysogyny and respecting others. When respecting boundaires and understanding empathy are just part of their life, kids are set up for success in future intemente relationships.

How do I manage my own fear or anger so I don’t scare my child?

This is one of the hardest parts of parenting in this space. Your fear makes sense. But when fear shows up as panic, lectures, or worst-case scenarios, children often stop talking. If you feel flooded, it’s okay to pause. You can say, “I’m feeling a lot because I care about you. I want to take a breath so I can listen well.” That models emotional regulation and tells your child that big feelings don’t end connection.

What if my child shuts down or says they don’t want to talk?

Shutting down is often a sign that a child feels overwhelmed, not that they don’t care. Forcing the conversation can make it harder next time. What helps is leaving the door open without pressure. You might say, “I can tell this feels like a lot. We don’t have to talk right now, but I want you to know I’m here whenever you’re ready.” Then show consistency over time. Kids often come back when they feel safe enough.

How do I balance monitoring my child’s online activity with building trust?

Monitoring without conversation feels like surveillance. Conversation without monitoring can feel naïve. The balance comes from transparency. Let your child know what you check, why you check it, and that it’s about safety, not control. When kids understand that monitoring is predictable and protective, not random or punitive, they are less likely to hide and more likely to ask for help when something goes wrong. You can say, “Part of my job is keeping you safe online. As you get older and show good judgment, we’ll adjust together.”

When is the right age to start talking about online safety and consent?

Earlier than most parents expect, and more gradually than most parents plan. Many children are first exposed to sexualized content, messaging, or peer pressure around age 11, sometimes younger, often without seeking it out. That means waiting until adolescence can leave kids trying to interpret adult material without adult guidance. Think of this as an ongoing conversation that grows with your child. Early on, it’s about body autonomy, privacy, and listening to discomfort. Later, it becomes about consent, respect, digital permanence, and relationships. You are not introducing risk by talking about it. You are giving your child language and context so they are not alone when something confusing happens.

What’s the most important thing I can do as a parent?

Stay calm. Believe your child. Keep the door open. You do not need perfect words or immediate solutions. Your willingness to listen without judgment is one of the strongest protective factors in your child’s life. When children learn that telling leads to safety, not fear, they are far more likely to speak up when it matters most.

Can my child still get help if they’re not sure what happened was serious or don’t want to involve police?

Yes. Support does not require certainty, and it does not require law enforcement. There are many paths to safety and healing, including school support, counseling, and confidential resources. You can reassure your child by saying, “Getting help doesn’t mean you have to make big decisions right away. We can take this one step at a time.”

I’m especially worried about online safety and images. What should I say?

Start by removing shame. Many kids are pressured, flattered, or manipulated online, and fear of punishment keeps them silent. You might say, “You never owe anyone pictures of your body. If someone asks or pressures you, that’s a problem with them, not you. And if you ever send something and regret it, I want you to tell me so I can help. You won’t be in trouble.” If threats are involved, be very clear that responsibility lies with the person making the threat, not your child.

Who should my child be able to talk to if they don’t feel ready to talk to me?

It is actually protective for children to have more than one trusted adult. Sometimes kids worry about disappointing their parents, getting someone in trouble, or changing how they are seen at home. That does not mean they are hiding something in a negative way. It means they are navigating complex emotions. You can normalize this by talking openly about options. You might say, “If there was ever something you didn’t want to come to me about right away, who are some other adults you trust?” This could be a teacher, counselor, nurse, coach, extended family member, or another caregiver. Having that conversation before anything happens makes disclosure more likely later.

I want my child to be safe, but I’m not always sure what I should be telling them to report. I don’t want to overreact or scare them.

That uncertainty makes sense, and you are not alone in it. Most children do not experience harm as a single, obvious moment. It often shows up as discomfort, confusion, pressure, or a feeling that something is “off,” long before it becomes clear what is happening. I usually tell parents that the goal is not to teach children what qualifies as a reportable incident. The goal is to teach them that their feelings are enough to matter. A helpful way to frame it for your child is to say that they can come to you or another trusted adult whenever something makes them feel scared, pressured, embarrassed, unsafe, or unsure, even if they cannot explain it well. When children believe they need certainty before speaking up, they tend to stay silent much longer than is healthy for them. You might say, “You don’t have to know whether something is a big deal. If it’s bothering you, I want to hear about it. We can figure it out together.”

What if this brings up my own experiences?

That is very common. Supporting a child can activate unresolved feelings. Seeking your own support is not a failure. It’s part of protecting both you and your child. Make sure to seek support for yourself and not share the burden of your own expereicnes with your child.

What if I say the wrong thing?

You do not need perfect words. Being present, listening, believing, and staying regulated are far more important than saying everything right. Repair is always possible. If you miss something, you can say, “I’m still learning how to do this well, and I care about you.”

Why do kids not block someone right away?

It may start as curiosity or flattery. Online explotation is often very manipulative. Kids may also not understand the danger or risk involved due to their developmental stage or lack of education. If it escelates, they might fear of retaliation, have formed emotional attachment, be experiencing manipulation, or be hoping that the behavior will stop are common reasons. Some children are threatened with embarrassment or harm if they block or report. Not blocking does not mean they wanted the interaction. It often means they felt trapped.

My child says it was “just a joke.” Should I drop it?

Children often use humor to reduce discomfort, embarrassment, or fear. Calling something a joke does not mean it felt okay. It often means they want the situation to stop without drawing attention to themselves. You do not need to challenge their words. You can gently widen the conversation. You might say, “Sometimes things start as jokes and then feel uncomfortable. I just want to check that no one is crossing a line or making you feel weird.” This keeps the door open without forcing disclosure.

How should I handle jokes, teasing, or peer pressure?

Children often tolerate discomfort to avoid social fallout. They may think they are being too sensitive if others are laughing. You can say, “If something makes you uncomfortable, that’s enough. You don’t have to like something just because other people think it’s funny.” Help them practice simple phrases like, “That’s not funny to me,” or “Can we change the subject?” Emphasize that real friends care about how their words land.

How do I advocate for my child at school without escalating things?

Document concerns, ask about safety plans, and request clear communication. You can ask schools what steps they are taking to protect your child without demanding punishment.

What if the harm involved another student? Should I contact the other child’s parents?

Peer-to-peer harm is still harm. Schools should address it with safety planning, accountability, and support rather than minimizing it as normal behavior. Your role is to advocate for your child’s safety and well-being, not to determine intent or punishment. In many situations, it is safer to go through the school or a professional rather than handling it directly. Direct contact can escalate conflict or put your child at further risk.

How do I avoid re-traumatizing my child when talking about it?

Let your child guide the depth and timing of conversations. Avoid repeated questioning or asking for details unless necessary. You can remind them that they are in charge of what they share and that they can stop the conversation at any time. Your calm presence matters more than gathering information.

Should I put my child in therapy right away?

Therapy can help, but it should be trauma-informed and voluntary when possible. For some children, stabilizing routines and trusted adult support come first.

What emotional reactions are normal after online or sexual harm?

There is no single response. Survivors of all ages may feel fear, anger, shame, numbness, sadness, guilt, or relief. They may withdraw or become clingy. Sleep, appetite, and school engagement may change. These responses are normal reactions to stress and violation. They are not signs that something is “wrong” with the survivor.

What emotional reactions are normal after online or sexual harm?

There is no single response. Children may feel fear, anger, shame, numbness, sadness, guilt, or relief. They may withdraw or become clingy. Sleep, appetite, and school engagement may change. These responses are normal reactions to stress and violation. They are not signs that something is “wrong” with the child.

My child seems fine. Do we still need support?

Some children show distress right away. Others seem fine for weeks or months. Some never show outward signs at all. This does not mean harm did not occur. Support does not mean assuming damage. It means letting your child know that help is available if and when they want it. You can check in periodically without forcing conversations.

What if my child does not want me to report or tell the school?

Listen to their fears first. Children often worry about retaliation, embarrassment, or losing control of what happens next. Explain options clearly and honestly. When reporting is required for safety or legal reasons, explain that your role is to protect them, not to punish them. Stay connected throughout the process so they do not feel abandoned once adults take over.

How do I help my child without taking away all their independence?

Trauma takes away a sense of control. Restoring appropriate choice is part of healing. When safety steps are needed, explain them as temporary and protective, not as consequences. Invite your child into decision-making when possible. Ask what feels helpful, what feels overwhelming, and what support they want. Even small choices can help rebuild trust and confidence.

What if my child seems confused afterward, or even misses the person who hurt them?

Mixed emotions are very common. Children can feel relief, sadness, anger, attachment, and confusion all at once. Missing someone does not mean the harm was okay or imagined. You can say, “Feelings can be complicated. You can miss someone and still know that what happened wasn’t okay.” This helps your child avoid judging themselves for their emotional reactions.

What if my child freezes or did not fight back?

Freezing is a very common survival response. It is automatic and happens when the brain senses danger and chooses the safest option in the moment. It does not mean agreement, weakness, or consent. Children and teens often blame themselves for freezing. They may think they should have done more or spoken up. Reassuring them that their body was protecting them is one of the most important things you can do.

How do I know if something is serious enough to step in? What if I am wrong and overreact?

If a child feels scared, pressured, confused, ashamed, or afraid to tell you, that alone is enough reason to step in. Harm does not always look dramatic. Many harmful situations begin quietly and escalate over time. Children often minimize experiences because they are trying to protect themselves, protect someone else, or avoid getting in trouble. Waiting for proof or certainty can unintentionally leave a child carrying fear alone. Stepping in does not mean accusing or panicking. It means checking in, slowing things down, and making sure the child knows they are not on their own. Responding with care does not cause harm. Overreacting looks like panic, punishment, or loss of control. Responding looks like curiosity, calm, and concern. You can always adjust your response as you learn more. You cannot undo silence once a child decides it is not safe to talk. Showing that you take concerns seriously teaches a child that they matter and that you are a safe person to come to again.

Who should educators contact if a student discloses online exploitation?

Educators should follow mandated reporting laws and school protocols, while prioritizing student safety and confidentiality.

What if my child refuses to give me their phone?

Focus on connection before control. Escalating quickly can increase secrecy. If there is imminent risk, safety comes first. Otherwise, keep the door open for conversation.

How do I help my child emotionally after online exploitation? I feel terrified of saying the wrong thing.

Start by focusing on safety and connection, not fixing everything at once. Your child needs to feel believed, supported, and calm around you. Even if you are scared or angry, try to slow your voice and reactions. Children often take emotional cues from their parents, and your steadiness helps their nervous system settle. Be very clear that this is not your child’s fault. Online exploitation relies on manipulation and pressure, and shame is common afterward. You may need to repeat this reassurance more than once. Simple language matters. “I’m really glad you told me. You’re not in trouble. Someone took advantage of you, and that’s not on you.” Let your child lead how much they want to talk. Some children want to process right away, others need time. Avoid repeated questioning. Check in gently and offer presence, not interrogation. If safety steps are needed, explain them as protection, not punishment. Losing access to devices can feel like another loss of control after exploitation. Whenever possible, involve your child in decisions so they regain a sense of agency. Watch for emotional changes over time, not just immediately. Anxiety, sleep changes, withdrawal, or irritability can show up later. Support does not require certainty or crisis behavior. It is okay to seek help even if your child “seems fine.” Most of all, remind your child through words and actions: “You are not alone. I can handle this with you.”

Someone created a fake sexual image of my child using AI. Is this illegal?

AI-generated sexual images of minors are treated seriously and can fall under child sexual abuse material laws depending on the content and jurisdiction. The NCMEC CyberTipline is a U.S. national reporting system operated by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children for receiving tips about suspected child sexual exploitation and abuse material (CSAM) and related online crimes. It serves as the central mechanism for individuals and online platforms to report illegal or harmful content involving minors.

What if the person targeting my child is another minor?

It still matters. Harm is harm, even when both parties are under 18. When children are younger focus on safety and stopping the behavior rather than punishment.

My child is being pressured through gaming chat. Does this count as exploitation?

Yes. Online games are one of the most common places grooming and sextortion begin. Voice chat, private servers, and in-game messaging are frequently used. Common Sense Media is a nonprofit organization that provides education and advocacy on digital literacy and online safety for children and families. It is best known for rating media content and promoting responsible technology use in homes and schools.

Images of my child are already online. Can they be removed?

Yes, there are removal and prevention tools specifically for images involving minors. Use Take It Down to help stop the sharing of sexual images of minors without uploading the image publicly. Take It Down is a free, anonymous online service run by National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) that helps people remove or stop the spread of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos created of them before they were 18. It works with participating tech companies to identify and limit the circulation of this content without requiring the user to upload the actual image or video.

Someone is threatening to share images of my child. Who do I report this to first?

If there is an active threat, preserve evidence immediately and report. Do not negotiate or pay.

My child says someone online asked for pictures. Nothing has happened yet. What should I do?

Take it seriously even if no images were sent. Save messages and usernames. Block and report the account on the platform. Check in emotionally with your child and reinforce that they did the right thing by telling you.

How can schools create safer environments?

Clear policies, age-appropriate education, trained staff, and trusted reporting pathways all reduce harm and increase the likelihood that students will speak up.

What should I do if something happens at school?

Start by supporting the child. Schools usually have multiple options including counseling, confidential advocacy, and formal reporting. The safest option is the one chosen by the student with support.

How often should I review my child’s online activity?

Think of it as ongoing, not one-time. Quick, regular check-ins are more effective than surprise inspections.

Are parental controls enough to keep kids safe?

No tool is foolproof. Controls reduce risk, but open communication and regular check-ins are just as important.

What are the most important safety settings to check on my child's socials?

Set accounts to private. Limit direct messages. Turn off location sharing unless needed. Control who can comment or tag. Review followers regularly. Use built-in family supervision tools.

What should I do if my child is targeted by a deepfake image?

Save evidence. Report the image to the platform. Notify the school if peers are involved. Seek professional support. Treat it with the same seriousness as any other form of exploitation.

Can images be removed once they are shared?

Law enforcement and tools can help remove images involving minors or prevent them from being shared further. You do not need to upload the image publicly to get help.

If my child sent an image, are they at fault?

No. A child who was pressured, manipulated, or threatened is not to blame. Focus on protection and support, not punishment.

What should I do immediately if sextortion happens?

Stay calm and avoid blame. Save evidence such as screenshots. Do not engage or pay. Block and report the account. Reach out for help and make a report. Additional resources are available to help support you and your child through this: Make a report to NCMEC’s CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org Stop Sextortion: Tips for Caregivers Amaze Video: Online Blackmail

Do I have to report if my child tells me something?

Parents are generally not mandated reporters, but teachers and school staff often are. It is okay to ask professionals upfront what they are required to report and what stays confidential.

What should I do if my child discloses abuse or exploitation?

Stay calm. Thank them for telling you. Tell them you believe them. Focus on safety and support rather than consequences or next steps in that moment.

What are deepfakes?

Deepfakes are images created by using AI to show someone doing something they have not done. This can includes fake sexual images, often by placing a person’s face onto another body. These images can look real and cause serious harm. Regardless of if they are real or not, sexual images of minors are considered child sexual abuse material (child pornography) and are illegal to create, posses, and distrubute.

What if someone lies about their age?

It is always the responsibility of the older person to make sure the person they are with is legally able to consent. This is intentional. The law is designed to protect young people and to prevent adults who cause harm from using excuses to avoid accountability. If someone genuinely tried to confirm another person’s age and was lied to, the legal system exists to examine all the facts. Everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty, and courts consider evidence, intent, and circumstances before reaching conclusions. At the same time, age of consent laws are written to be strict because individuals who intend to exploit minors may attempt to manipulate situations or claim they were misled. This balance helps ensure protection for young people while allowing the legal system to fairly assess each case.

How can I stand up for someone else who is being targeted?

Standing up for someone doesn’t always mean confronting something directly. There are many ways to help, and safety should always come first. This can include naming that something isn’t okay, changing the subject to interrupt what’s happening, or checking in with the person afterward to offer support. Sometimes the best option is getting help from a trusted adult or school staff member, or keeping a record of what happened if it feels important to share later. Even small actions can make a difference and help someone feel less alone.

What if I’m pressured to go along with jokes I don’t like?

Feeling pressured to laugh or participate in jokes that don’t feel okay is a sign that a boundary may be crossed. It’s okay to stay quiet, change the subject, or say you’re not comfortable. You don’t have to join in to belong.

What if my friends say something that makes me uncomfortable?

Feeling uncomfortable around friends is important to pay attention to. It’s okay to name how something made you feel, take space, or ask for the conversation to change. Healthy friendships allow room for honesty and respect. If friends dismiss your feelings or continue the behavior, that’s a sign to seek support from someone you trust.

How do I know if a joke has gone too far?

A joke may have gone too far if it makes someone feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, hurt, or singled out. Even if others are laughing, what matters is how it feels to the person on the receiving end. If a joke involves someone’s body, identity, personal experiences, or boundaries—and doesn’t feel okay—it’s no longer just a joke.

Who can I talk to at school if something unsafe happens?

If something unsafe or uncomfortable happens at school, it’s okay to talk to a trusted adult. This might include a teacher, school counselor, social worker, nurse, administrator, coach, or another staff member you feel comfortable with. You can also talk to a parent or caregiver, who can help you decide the next steps. You don’t need to have the “right” words—sharing what happened and how it made you feel is enough.

Is it okay to ask questions during a medical exam?

Yes. Asking questions during a medical exam is always okay. Patients have the right to understand what is happening, why something is being done, and what their options are. A medical provider should explain procedures clearly and respectfully and pause if something feels confusing or uncomfortable for a patient.

What if I feel unsure instead of a clear yes or no?

Feeling unsure is important information. Consent is not about uncertainty or hesitation—it should feel clear and comfortable. If you feel unsure, confused, or conflicted, that is a sign to pause or say no. It is okay to take time, ask questions, or decide not to move forward at all.

What if someone pressures me into saying yes?

Consent is not present if someone pressures, pushes, or makes a person feel guilty, afraid, or worn down for saying no. A real yes is given freely, without fear, pressure, manipulation, or consequences. If saying yes feels like the only way to make someone stop asking, avoid conflict, or prevent something bad from happening, a boundary is being crossed. Consent should never come from feeling trapped or coerced.

What does consent actually mean?

Consent means freely choosing to say yes or no. It must be clear and given without pressure, fear, manipulation, obligation, or an imbalance of power. Consent is not silence, freezing, or going along to avoid conflict. Those are signs that someone may not feel safe or comfortable. Consent can change at any time, and anyone is allowed to change their mind. At its core, consent is about respect, communication, and personal choice.

Can I say no to hugs or physical touch from family members?

Yes. Everyone has the right to decide what kinds of physical touch feel okay for them, including with family members or people we love. Saying no to a hug or other physical touch is allowed and does not mean that you are being rude or unkind. There are many other ways to show care and connection. It’s important to respect your personal comfort and choices.

Is it okay to say no even if I said yes before?

Yes, you are always allowed to change your mind and decide you no longer want to do something.

How do I know if someone is crossing my boundaries?

A boundary may be crossed when something doesn’t feel right. This can include feeling uncomfortable, pressured, confused, or upset—even if it’s hard to explain why. Boundary crossing isn’t always obvious, but it can include unwanted touching, repeated teasing, someone ignoring that you said “no”, or being asked to keep secrets about something that makes you feel uncomfortable. These feelings are important and deserve attention.

What are personal boundaries?

Personal boundaries are the limits we set around our bodies, feelings, and personal space. They help us feel safe, respected, and comfortable. Everyone’s boundaries are different, and they can change depending on the situation or how someone is feeling. Learning about boundaries helps us understand what feels okay for us and how to communicate those limits with others.

What if I waited a long time to tell someone? Does it still matter?

Yes. No matter how long ago something happened, it still matters, and you can always tell someone.. Taking time to speak up is normal.. You might have needed time to understand what happened, manage your emotions, or feel safe enough to speak up. Waiting does not mean the experience was less serious or less real.

What if I get in trouble after reporting something?

Sometimes an adult might not know how to keep you safe, and punish you, even though you were trying to get help. This is not okay for them to do! If this happens, you may have to tell another trusted adult, even if that seems really hard.

What if the person I need to report is a family member?

This can be confusing and scary. You might have a lot of things you're worried about. Even in these situations, it is still important to tell a trusted adult. If you are not sure who to talk to, who could be a trusted adult outside the family, such as a teacher, school counselor, nurse, coach, or a friend’s parent? You are not responsible for anything that seems bad that happens because you reported them. Adults should be keeping you safe and making adult decsions. Reporting is the right thing to do.

What if I’m scared to report something?

Even if you feel scared, if someone or something is making you feel uncomfortable or is hurting you, it is important to tell a trusted adult so they can help you.

What if someone threatens to share my child’s photos?

That is sextortion. Save evidence, stop engagement, and seek help immediately. Your child is not at fault.

What should I do if someone screenshots my child’s messages or threatens to share photos?

That is not your child’s fault. Screenshotting without consent removes control and can be used to threaten or manipulate. The most important steps are to stop engagement, save evidence, and seek help. Reassure your child that threats are a form of abuse, not a consequence of their actions.

How do I know if someone online is lying about who they are? What are the warning signs that someone online may be unsafe?

You should assume that everyone online could be lying about who they are. Warning signs that someone could be unsafe include asking you to keep secrets, moving conversations to private platforms, making threats, asking for private informantion (including any kind of picture of you), or saying really nice things about you and saying they like you a lot.

What if someone my child met online wants to meet in real life?

This is a significant red flag. Online relationships can feel real very quickly, especially for teens. Any in-person meeting should involve parents, public places, and clear verification. Many grooming situations escalate at this stage. You can say, “Anyone who truly cares about you will understand needing adult involvement.”

Are certain types of pictures considered inappropriate even if my child thinks they’re harmless?

What should I do if someone asks my child for pictures?

Start by removing shame. Many children feel flattered, pressured, or afraid of losing connection. Make it very clear that asking for images is a boundary violation, not a compliment. You can say, “You never owe anyone pictures of your body. Anyone who pressures you is crossing a line. If that ever happens, I want to help you.”

I’m overwhelmed by online safety. What information about my child should really stay private?

Anything that could identify, locate, or expose your child should be protected. This includes their address, school, daily routines, passwords, live location, and private images. Many children overshare because they don’t understand how information can be used later. Instead of fear-based warnings, it helps to frame privacy as protection, not restriction. You might say, “Some things are just for you and people you trust in real life.”

What if my child’s friends say things that make them uncomfortable, but they don’t want to lose the friendship?

This is incredibly common, especially in middle and high school. Many children tolerate discomfort to preserve belonging. They may fear that setting boundaries will make them isolated. You can help by validating that fear while still reinforcing their right to feel safe. You might say, “I get why you don’t want to rock the boat. At the same time, real friendships leave room for boundaries. We can think together about what feels safest for you.” Sometimes the goal is not confrontation but distance, changing the subject, or finding allies. Simple, calm language works best. Children do not need long explanations. Phrases like, “That’s not funny to me,” or “Can we stop joking about that?” are often enough. If a friend reacts poorly, that gives important information. A relationship that cannot tolerate respectful boundaries may not be as safe as it feels.

I worry a lot about jokes and teasing. How do I know when something has gone too far for my child?

A joke has gone too far if it makes your child feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, hurt, singled out, or pressured to laugh along when they don’t want to. Even if others think it is funny or harmless, what matters is how it feels to the person on the receiving end. Jokes that involve someone’s body, identity, personal experiences, or boundaries and do not feel okay are no longer just jokes. Many children stay quiet because they do not want to seem sensitive or difficult. You can support your child by reinforcing that their feelings are enough. You might say, “If something makes you uncomfortable, that’s enough. You don’t need anyone else to agree.” This helps your child trust their own internal signals instead of deferring to the group.

Who can my child talk to at school if something unsafe happens?

If something unsafe or uncomfortable happens at school, your child can talk to a trusted adult. This may include a teacher, school counselor, social worker, nurse, administrator, coach, or another staff member they feel comfortable with, including a Title IX coordinator. Your child can also talk to you or another caregiver, who can help them think through next steps. They do not need to have the “right” words or explain everything perfectly. Sharing what happened and how it made them feel is enough to start getting support.

What is Title IX?

Title IX is a federal law that protects students from sex-based discrimination, including sexual harassment and sexual violence, in schools and educational programs. Under Title IX, schools are required to respond to reports, offer support and accommodations to affected students, and take steps to stop harmful behavior. Families and students have the right to ask their school who the Title IX coordinator is and how to make a report.

What protections do students have at school?

Students have the right to learn in a safe, respectful environment free from sexual harassment and sexual violence. Schools are legally required to respond to concerns, investigate reports, and take steps to stop harmful behavior. This includes protecting students from retaliation and providing appropriate support and accommodations during and after a report is made.

What if my child is afraid of getting in trouble for reporting an adult at school?

Children are allowed to report adults. Schools are required to take reports seriously and protect students from retaliation.

Does my child have to be alone with a doctor?

Not always. A parent, nurse, or another adult can often be present. You or your child can ask for this.

What if an adult like a doctor, teacher, or coach makes my child uncomfortable?

Children are often taught to defer to authority, even when something feels wrong. Explicit permission to speak up is protective. You can say, “Even with adults in charge, you’re allowed to ask questions, say stop, or ask for another adult to be present. If something feels off, I want you to tell me.” Reinforce that discomfort does not require proof to be valid.

Can someone consent if they feel scared or threatened?

No. Consent requires the ability to make a free and voluntary choice. If someone feels scared or threatened, they may feel that saying no will lead to harm. In those situations, the choice is not truly free, and consent cannot exist. Fear, pressure, or threats remove a person’s ability to consent, and responsibility lies with the person creating or exploiting that fear.

What if my child felt pressured into saying yes or felt unsure instead of a clear yes or no?

Pressure and uncertainty cancel consent. Children and teens often go along with things to avoid conflict, embarrassment, or rejection. You can say, “If something feels confusing, stressful, or pressured, that’s your body telling you to pause or stop. Consent should feel clear and comfortable, not tense or forced.” This gives them language to trust their instincts.

What does it mean to withdraw consent?

Withdrawing consent means deciding to stop doing something, even if you agreed to it earlier. You do not need a reason or explanation to change your mind. Consent is an ongoing choice and can be withdrawn at any time. Just like you can decide to stop an activity you no longer enjoy, you are always allowed to pause, stop, or change what you want to do based on how you feel in the moment.

Can consent be nonverbal?

Consent can sometimes be communicated without words, such as through clear and comfortable body language. However, it must still be obvious, enthusiastic, and freely given. If there is hesitation, confusion, discomfort, or pressure, consent is not present. When someone is unsure, the safest and most respectful choice is to pause and check in. When in doubt, stop and ask. Clear communication is always better than guessing.

What does consent mean for kids and teens?

Can my child say no to physical affection from family?

Yes. Everyone has the right to decide what kinds of physical touch feel okay for them, including with family members or people they love. Being related does not override a child’s right to bodily autonomy. Saying no to a hug or other physical touch is allowed and does not mean your child is being rude or unkind. It is a boundary. There are many other ways to show care and connection that do not involve physical touch. You can support your child by helping them practice respectful ways to say no and by reinforcing to other adults that consent and boundaries apply within families too. Respecting your child’s comfort and choices teaches them that their body belongs to them and that their boundaries matter. Support your child in setting respectful boundaries and help other adults understand that consent applies within families too.

How can I tell if someone is crossing my child’s boundaries?

Watch for discomfort, withdrawal, anxiety, confusion, or sudden changes in behavior. Children may not always say “stop,” but their bodies and emotions often signal distress. Teach your child that feeling uncomfortable is enough to matter, even if they cannot explain why.

How can I talk to my child about boundaries and consent without making them anxious?

Boundaries are best taught as body awareness, not rules. Children do well when they learn to notice what feels comfortable or uncomfortable and trust those signals. You might say, “Your body gives you information. If something doesn’t feel okay, even if you can’t explain why, that matters.” Reinforce that boundaries apply to everyone, including adults and family members. Let your child know they are allowed to say no to hugs, tickling, or physical affection, even from people they love.

What if my child waited a long time to tell me?

Delayed disclosure is the norm, not the exception. Children often need time to understand what happened, manage their emotions, or feel safe enough to speak up. Waiting does not mean the experience was less serious or less real. When a child does share, the most helpful response is to focus on appreciation and support rather than timing. You might say, “Thank you for telling me now. I know that couldn’t have been easy. The timing doesn’t change how important this is.” Avoid asking why they waited to tell. Even well-intentioned questions like that can feel like blame and may make it harder for a child to continue opening up.

What if the person involved is a family member?

When the person who makes a child feel uncomfortable or unsafe is a family member, the situation can feel especially confusing and scary. Children may feel torn between loyalty, love, and fear, or worry about getting someone in trouble or breaking the family apart. Even in these situations, it is still important for your child to tell a trusted adult. If they are not sure who to talk to, help them identify another trusted family member or a trusted adult outside the family, such as a teacher, school counselor, nurse, coach, or a friend’s parent. It can be helpful to say, “I know this is really hard when it involves family. You can love someone and still be hurt by them. Your safety matters more than protecting anyone else.” Reassure your child that telling does not automatically lead to drastic outcomes, but staying silent should never be the price of keeping the peace.

What if my child is unsure whether something is serious enough to report?

Children often feel responsible for determining whether something “counts.” That is a heavy burden for them. It helps to remove that responsibility entirely. You might say, “You don’t have to decide whether something is serious. That’s an adult job. If it’s bothering you, that’s enough reason to talk about it.” This reassures your child that they are not wasting your time or overreacting.

How can my child safely stand up for someone who is being targeted?

Standing up for someone does not have to mean confronting the situation directly. Safety should always come first, and there are many ways to help that do not put your child at risk. Helpful actions can include changing the subject to interrupt what’s happening, sitting with or staying near the person being targeted, checking in privately afterward, or naming that something is not okay if it feels safe to do so. Sometimes the best option is getting help from a trusted adult or school staff member, or keeping a record of what happened if it may need to be shared later. Even small, quiet actions can make a meaningful difference and help someone feel less alone. You can remind your child, “You don’t have to be a hero. Helping can be subtle and still really matter.”

What if my child feels pressured to go along with jokes they don’t like?

Pressure to participate is a sign that a boundary may be crossed. Encourage your child to stay quiet, change the subject, or say they’re not comfortable. They don’t have to join in to keep friends.

What if I hurt someone’s feelings without realizing it?

That can happen, and it doesn’t automatically mean someone intended harm. What matters most is how it’s handled afterward. If someone shares that something was hurtful, it’s important to listen, acknowledge their feelings, and make a change. Learning from the moment helps build respect and stronger relationships.

What should I tell my child to do if their friends say things that make them uncomfortable?

Encourage your child to pay attention to discomfort and take it seriously. They can name how it felt, ask to change the subject, or take a break. Healthy friendships allow honesty and respect. If friends dismiss their feelings or keep doing it, that’s a sign to seek support from a trusted adult.

What’s the difference between teasing and being mean?

Teasing is usually mutual and stops when someone shows discomfort or asks for it to stop. It feels light and respectful to everyone involved. Being mean involves repeated behavior that hurts, embarrasses, pressures, or targets something personal, especially when someone’s discomfort is ignored. If the behavior continues after someone asks it to stop, escalates, or feels intentional or upsetting, it has crossed the line. If your child is questioning whether something is teasing or mean, that is often a sign that something does not feel right. You can help them name that difference and take their feelings seriously without forcing them to confront the situation before they feel ready.

Who should my child talk to at school if something unsafe happens?

Your child can talk to a trusted adult at school, like a teacher, school counselor, social worker, nurse, administrator, coach, or another staff member they trust. They can also talk to you, and you can help them decide the next steps. They don’t need perfect words; sharing what happened and how it felt is enough.

What is Title IX, and why does it matter for my child?

What protections do students have at school if something unsafe happens?

What if my child is afraid of getting in trouble for reporting an adult?

It’s common for kids to worry about consequences, especially when the person involved is an adult. Students should not get in trouble for reporting unsafe or inappropriate behavior at school, which are expected to respond carefully and protect students from retaliation for speaking up. Help your child identify a number of trusted adults and if possible have a conversation between them, yourself, and your child so you can share and set expectations for what happens if your child comes to them with a concern.

What if a teacher or coach makes inappropriate comments to my child?

Comments that are sexual, suggestive, humiliating, or make a child feel uncomfortable are not okay, regardless of who is saying them. Adults in positions of authority have a responsibility to maintain clear professional boundaries. If something feels wrong, it is important to trust that feeling and tell a trusted adult, school administrator, counselor, or caregiver. Inappropriate comments should always be taken seriously.

Is it okay for my child to ask questions during a medical exam?

Yes. Asking questions during a medical exam is always okay. Children have the right to understand what is happening to their bodies, why an exam or procedure is being done, and what their options are. Medical providers should explain things clearly, answer questions, and pause if something feels confusing or uncomfortable. Your child should know that it is okay to speak up, ask for clarification, or say when something does not feel right.

Can someone consent if they are drunk or high?

Consent requires the ability to make a clear, informed choice. When someone is drunk or high, they may not fully understand what is happening or be able to communicate clearly. Legally, someone can give consent while drunk or high as long as they are not incapacitated, which is defined as not being able to understand what they are agreeing to or possible consequences. If someone is incapacitated, then they cannot consent. Even a "yes" would not be consent in that case. In any situation you are not confident and sure that the person can consent, you should not engage in sexual activity with them.

What if my child feels unsure instead of a clear yes or no?

Feeling unsure is important information. Consent shouldn’t feel confusing or pressured; it should feel clear and comfortable. If your child feels unsure, that’s a sign to pause or say no. It’s always okay to take time, ask questions, or decide not to move forward.

What should I tell my child about pressure if someone keeps trying to get them to say yes?

How do I explain “withdrawing consent” in a kid-friendly way?

Does consent have to be verbal?

How should I explain consent to my child?

Is it okay for my child to say no even if they said yes before?

Your child is always allowed to change their mind and decide they no longer want to do something. Saying yes once does not mean they have to keep saying yes. This is one of the most important concepts for children and teens to understand. Consent is not a contract. It is an ongoing choice that can change at any time. You can reinforce this by saying, “You can change your mind at any time. A yes earlier does not mean you owe anything later.” This message helps children feel less trapped in situations where they initially agreed but later became uncomfortable, and it supports their ability to trust their own feelings and boundaries..

Can my child say no to hugs or physical affection from family members?

"Yes. Everyone has the right to decide what kinds of physical touch feel okay for them, including with family members or people they love. Being related does not override a child’s right to bodily autonomy. Saying no to a hug or other physical touch is allowed and does not mean your child is being rude or unkind. It is a boundary. There are many other ways to show care and connection that do not involve physical touch. You can support your child by helping them practice respectful ways to say no and by reinforcing to other adults that consent and boundaries apply within families too. Respecting your child’s comfort and choices teaches them that their body belongs to them and that their boundaries matter. Support your child in setting respectful boundaries and help other adults understand that consent applies within families too. If family values make this challenging, one way to approach this conversation is to figure out what the value behind the physical affection is. Is it respect? Love? Welcome? Once identified, see if there are other ways your child can communicate these values that does not require them to engage in unwanted physical touch. This framing can be used to communicate to adult family members the decisions you've made to keep your child safe.

How do I teach my child that they can say no even if they said yes before?

What if my child reports something and regrets it later?

Mixed emotions after disclosure are normal. Regret does not mean reporting was a mistake. Children can feel relief and fear at the same time. Reassure them that they still have choices about what happens next and that support does not disappear once they speak up.

Can my child report something anonymously?

In many settings, yes, children may be able to report concerns anonymously. Some schools, hotlines, and online reporting tools allow anonymous reports, and in some cases it is also possible to report anonymously to the police. Anonymous reporting can be a helpful first step for children who want help but are afraid to be identified. However, it is important to understand that if your child needs direct support or protection, they may eventually need to share who they are so adults can respond effectively and provide help.

My child waited a long time to tell me. Does it still matter?

Yes. No matter how long ago something happened, it still matters, and your child can still tell a trusted adult.

What if my child gets in trouble after they report something?

Sometimes an adult responds the wrong way and punishes a child even though the child was trying to get help. That isn’t okay. If that happens, your child may need to tell a different trusted adult, even if that feels hard.

What if the person my child needs to report is a family member?

When the unsafe person is a family member, kids may feel confused or scared, but it’s still important that they tell a trusted adult. Helping your child identify trusted adults outside the family, like a school staff member or a friend’s parent can help them feel more prepared if they need to report a family member.

What if my child isn’t sure whether something is a big deal? Should they still tell someone?

Yes. Encourage your child to talk to a trusted adult about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, confused, or unsure, even if they are not certain something is wrong or whether it “counts.” Children often feel pressure to decide whether a situation is serious enough before speaking up. Let your child know that they do not need to figure that out on their own. If something is bothering them, that alone is enough reason to talk to an adult.

My child seems scared to report something. What should I tell them?

Feeling scared to report something is extremely common, especially for children who are conscientious, used to following rules, or worried about upsetting adults. Many kids fear that telling will lead to punishment, conflict, or losing control over what happens next. Even when your child feels afraid, it is important to encourage them to tell a trusted adult if something or someone is making them uncomfortable, unsafe, or hurt. The role of adults is to protect children, not to punish them for needing help. Be very explicit and repeat this message often. You can say, “You will not be in trouble for telling me something that makes you uncomfortable, even if rules were broken. My job is to keep you safe, not to punish you.” Hearing this once is rarely enough. Children learn it is true through repeated reassurance and supportive responses to small disclosures. If the situation involves an adult or authority figure, children may be especially afraid of consequences. Reassure them that students should not get in trouble for reporting unsafe or inappropriate behavior. Schools are expected to handle reports carefully and protect students from punishment or retaliation. If consequences do arise, help your child understand that adults are responsible for managing them. The child who spoke up did the right thing. Safety always matters more than rules.

What should I do if another adult does not believe my child?

This is one of the most painful experiences for a child, and unfortunately, it does happen. When a child is not believed, they often internalize the idea that they misunderstood or that their feelings do not matter. That can silence them for years. If this happens, your response is incredibly important. You can say, “I’m really sorry that adult didn’t listen the way they should have. That doesn’t mean you were wrong. I believe you, and I’m really glad you told me.” Then help your child identify another safe person to talk to. The message they need to hear is that one adult’s reaction does not determine the truth or the importance of their experience.

Who counts as a trusted adult for my child?

A trusted adult is someone who listens, takes concerns seriously, and prioritizes safety over judgment. This might be a parent, caregiver, teacher, school counselor, nurse, coach, family member, or another adult your child feels comfortable approaching. It helps to talk with your child ahead of time about who they would go to if they could not come to you right away. Having more than one option increases the likelihood that they will tell someone.

Can boys and men experience sexual assault?

Yes, boys and men can be raped. Though statistics often show women and girls having reported more sexual violence than men and boys, it still occurs against men and boys. It's also important to remember that societal pressures may limit men and boys from coming forward about having experienced rape, so we may hear about it less.

Can sexual violence happen if both people are intoxicated?

If someone is unable to consent because they are incapacitated, then it would be considered sexual violence. If there are two people who are incapacitated, it would be unlikely that they would physically be able to engage in any sexual behavior. However, if two people were intoxicated but NOT incapacitated, it becomes a gray area. In these cases, ensuring both people are able to give consent is important, and sexual violence could still happen if consent was not given.

Why is asking someone out considered sexual harassment, when its not sexual?

Sexual harassment is defind in Title IX, a law that helps protect students from sex and gender-based harassment and discrimination. The defintion has changed over time, so the language has gotten confusing. The important thing to understand is that this is an important law that offers students protection.

Why is sexting illegal for minors even if they can consent to sex?

The laws for age of consent and the laws for sexual images are different. Sending sexual images can happen between people who are in different states, so it makes sense to have all states have the same law. But some states have different ages of consent, so for now in Connecticut they are different.

Why would an adult want to have sex with someone who is 16, even if it is legal?

Unfortunately, some adults make choices that are not appropriate and could bring harm to a younger person. Again, just because it is legal does not mean it is okay.

Shouldn't it be illegal for anyone under 18 to have sex, since that's when people become adults?

The laws surrounding certain things that are legal for various ages are different. For example, you have to be 18 to vote, or 21 to purchase alcohol. Over time as society has gotten an better understanding of development, decisions were made to change certain laws, but these changes can take time and need someone to care enough to speak out about it.

Will my child get in trouble for sexual activity with someone older?

If your child is under the age of consent, is always the older person’s responsibility, because they have more power. Since it is their responsibility, they will be the one who gets in legal trouble. Remember that adults’ brains are much more developed than childrens’, and they have access to autonomy and rights that can reinforce the imbalnce of power.

What is a Romeo and Juliet law?

A Romeo and Juliet law is designed to prevent young people from being punished for consensual sexual activity with someone close to their own age. The goal of age of consent laws is to protect children from adults, not to criminalize peers who are at similar developmental stages. In Connecticut, this is called a Close-in-Age Exemption. It allows young people who are close in age to engage in consensual sexual activity without facing criminal charges. While the behavior may not always be developmentally appropriate, these laws recognize that it does not make sense to treat teens in consensual peer relationships as criminals or subject them to severe legal consequences.

Why do age of consent laws exist?

Age of consent laws exist to protect children and teens from being exploited by older individuals. These laws recognize that young people are still developing emotionally, cognitively, and socially, and that age differences can create power imbalances that increase the risk of harm.

What if someone lies about their age when consent is involved?

It is always the responsibility of the older person to make sure the person they’re with is old enough to consent. It is important that someone who wants to harm young people cannot make excuses. But if someone tried to find out the person’s age and the person lied, the legal system is there to make sure all facts are taken into account before someone is found guilty.

How should I explain consent changing over time?

Someone cannot give consent and take it back at a later date (this does not apply to withdrawing consent during a sexual act); however, it is important to understand the dynamics of consent to understand that just because someone might have thought they had consent in the moment, they might have ignored or not been educated on something they needed to be aware of for consent. For example, if someone is really drunk (to the point of incapacitation) and says yes, that wouldn’t actually be legal consent. So the next day after the person who said yes becomes sober, they may realize that their vulnerability was taken advantage of and they feel violated. So it’s important to be educated on consent and not ignore important things about the situation just because someone said yes.

What should I do if my child reports harassment or assault at school and nothing happens?

You can explain to your child that sometimes the rules and processes in place don't work the way they're supposed to. Tell them that you will work on figuring out what to do next. You can bring the concern to higher people within the school district, like the superintendant and the school board, and you can also file a complaint with the Office of Civil Rights.

How can I talk to my child about flirting without crossing boundaries?

One of the ways someone can tell if something is sexual harassment is if the behavior is unwanted and repeated. Ask them if they were constantly flirting with someone, and they aren’t flirting back? That would be an example of sexual harassment. A good way to avoid this is to stop flirting with someone if you notice they look uncomfortable or if they say to stop.

What should I do if my child is being sextorted?

Tell them that if someone is sextorting you, you should keep everything, including any images you may have sent. Bring all of this to a trusted adult. It is important to respond calmly and quickly. Your child is not alone, and this situation can be addressed safely. 1. Stay calm and reassure your child Your first response matters. Let them know they are not in trouble and that you will handle this together. Shame or blame can make kids withdraw or hide important details. 2. Stop communication with the person Do not negotiate, argue, or send money, gift cards, or additional photos. If it is safe to do so, stop contact and block the account. 3. Preserve evidence Take screenshots of messages, usernames, phone numbers, profile links, and payment requests. Save everything before blocking. This helps law enforcement investigate. 4. Report it You can report the incident to: Your local police department. If you live in Connecticut, ask Scout for the contact information. The FBI tip line (especially if there are threats or financial extortion). Contact your local FBI field office, call 1-800-CALL-FBI, or report it online. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org 5. Remove images if they are online If intimate images have been shared or posted, NCMEC’s Take It Down tool helps minors remove or prevent the spread of explicit images online. 6. Get emotional support Kids experiencing sextortion often feel scared, embarrassed, or panicked. Consider connecting with a counselor, advocate, or trusted professional for support. Call The Rowan Center: Call (203) 348-9346 Monday–Friday 9 AM–5 PM, or reach the 24/7 confidential helpline at Call (203) 329-2929 (English) or Call (888) 568-8332 (Spanish). If your child is under the age of 10, we will connect you to the right community resource in Connecticut. 7. Watch for signs of distress After disclosure, some children may feel anxious, withdrawn, or hopeless. Continue checking in and remind them they did the right thing by telling you."

What should my child do if they receive an explicit image?

Encourage them to come to you if this happens. Reassure them that they will not get in trouble if they do (and follow through if they do). If the photo is of a peer and there are no concerns about harassment of your child, they should delete it right away. You or the two of you together can report this to their school so they can make sure it gets addressed appropriately. If the photo is from an adult OR if this message reflects ongoing or possible ongoing harassment (for example, if the photo is from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend), your child should not delete the photo as it is evidence. If it is a peer, then you and your child can discuss reporting to school and/or the police; if it is an adult, report to law enforcement.

Are requests for photos of body parts like feet something I should be concerned about?

Even though feet are not usually considered private parts of the body, some adults want pictures of feet for adult reasons. No one should ever ask a young person for pictures of their feet, because it is for adult activities.

How should I explain social media age limits to my child?

Different families have different rules about what age you can use social media. Even though these apps say you have to be 13 to use them, this is because that’s the age when advertisers can promote products to young people–it doesn’t always mean that that is the age when someone is ready. Different people might be mature enough or ready at different ages, and families might have different rules for keeping everyone safe. You can look at reviews on Common Sense Media as a way to have an open discussion with your child.

What should I tell my child if they feel uncomfortable during a medical exam?

You can always say out loud if something at the doctor feels uncomfortable, and you can also ask more questions about the exam and why you are getting it. You can also ask if there are any things that can be done to make you feel more comfortable, like having a nurse in the room during the check up instead of your grown-up, if you can get the exam next time you go, or if you want a doctor who is the same gender as you to do the exam. You may still have to get the exam, because your grown-ups are in charge of your healthcare, but you can always say it out loud if you are feeling uncomfortable and ask what they can do about it.

My child and their friends joke around, but sometimes the jokes seem mean. How should I guide them?

Encourage you child to always keep open communication between them and their friends. Practice recognizing happy and uncomfortable body language and remind them that sometimes someone may feel uncomfortable but not always say so out loud. Encourage them to check in with their friends if they seem uncomfortable or just stop, and speak up if they feel like they can.

What kinds of things should I encourage my child to report to a trusted adult?

Encourage your child to report anything that feels out of the ordinary, uncomfortable, confusing, pressured, or unsafe, whether it happens in person or online. This includes situations they cannot fully explain, things that feel “off,” or experiences they worry might get them in trouble. Children often struggle to label harm or decide whether something “counts,” especially at younger ages. Let your child know they do not need proof, certainty, or the right words to speak up. If something affects their sense of safety, comfort, or peace, it matters. It is always okay for your child to talk to a trusted adult about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, confused, or unsure, even if they are not certain something is wrong. For younger children, conversations often focus on internet safety, peer relationships, and body safety or health rules, but the core message stays the same: telling is about safety, not getting in trouble.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are warning signs my child could be in danger on gaming platforms, like Roblox?

My child loves this game called, "Roblox." What is it and is it dangerous?

Can an advocate speak with the police department to get updates if the client is afraid or overwhelmed?

Can I make a report without pressing charges?

Can reporting affect immigration status?

What if I’m not sure my experience qualifies me for services?

How do I know when support is helping?

What if my child doesn’t want counseling?

What if my child’s behavior changes months later?

What are warning signs my child could be in danger on gaming platforms, like Roblox?

My child loves this game called, "Roblox." What is it and is it dangerous?

Can an advocate speak with the police department to get updates if the client is afraid or overwhelmed?

Can I make a report without pressing charges?

Can reporting affect immigration status?

What if I’m not sure my experience qualifies me for services?

How do I know when support is helping?

What if my child doesn’t want counseling?

What if my child’s behavior changes months later?

How do I support siblings who are affected?

What if my child wants to talk constantly?

What if my child doesn’t want to talk at all?

What if my child’s school performance changes?

What if my child regresses developmentally?

What if my child shuts down completely?

What if my child seems angry instead of sad?

What if I disagree with how authorities respond?

What if the other child’s parents contact me directly?

How do I support my child during an investigation?

What if my child is disciplined after reporting?

What if the incident happened off school grounds?

How do I advocate without escalating?

What if my child doesn’t trust school administrators?

What if the school handles the situation poorly?

How do I protect my child’s digital likeness?

What if AI is used to falsely accuse my child?

How do I talk about AI without overwhelming my child?

What if my child can’t tell what’s real anymore?

How do I explain AI manipulation to younger kids?

What if my child is asked to create an image of someone else?

What if my child sees AI-generated sexual images of classmates?

What if my child is afraid a fake image could be created of them?

What if my child blocked someone but the behavior continues?

What if my child is targeted repeatedly online?

How do I explain permanence without fear?

What if my child thinks deleting messages solves the problem?

What if the person asking for images is another minor?

How do I know when something crosses into sextortion?

What if images are being traded among peers?

What if my child is being pressured to send “non-nude” pictures?

What if my child feels responsible because they replied once?

What if my child didn’t ask for the image but didn’t stop it either?

What if my child was added to a group chat sharing explicit content?

How do I talk about group dynamics without blaming my child?

What if my child witnesses harassment but doesn’t know what to do?

How do I help my child apologize without shaming them?

What if my child is the one being called out by peers?

How do I talk about popularity and power?

What if my child is afraid of being excluded for setting boundaries?

How do I help my child exit uncomfortable conversations?

What if my child doesn’t want to be “that person” who speaks up?

What if my child feels pressured to laugh along with sexual jokes?

What if my child struggles to recognize their own boundaries?

How do I talk about boundaries with children who are people-pleasers?

What if my child thinks jealousy is love?

How do I teach consent without making it feel clinical?

What if my child thinks consent is implied in relationships?

How do I explain that freezing is involuntary?

What if my child feels guilty for hurting someone’s feelings by saying no?

How do I help my child recognize pressure that doesn’t sound aggressive?

What if my child is confused about mixed signals?

How do I explain that boundaries apply even with friends or partners?

What if my child thinks they owe someone attention or affection?

How do I teach my child that discomfort matters even if no rule was broken?

Can I talk to someone anonymously before deciding what to do?

How do I explain reporting requirements to my child?

What if my child tells me something that triggers mandatory reporting?

How do I reassure my child without promising things I can’t control?

What if my child says “never mind” after starting to tell me something?

How do I respond if my child tests me with a small disclosure first?