That uncertainty makes sense, and you are not alone in it. Most children do not experience harm as a single, obvious moment. It often shows up as discomfort, confusion, pressure, or a feeling that something is “off,” long before it becomes clear what is happening. I usually tell parents that the goal is not to teach children what qualifies as a reportable incident. The goal is to teach them that their feelings are enough to matter.
A helpful way to frame it for your child is to say that they can come to you or another trusted adult whenever something makes them feel scared, pressured, embarrassed, unsafe, or unsure, even if they cannot explain it well. When children believe they need certainty before speaking up, they tend to stay silent much longer than is healthy for them.
You might say, “You don’t have to know whether something is a big deal. If it’s bothering you, I want to hear about it. We can figure it out together.”