What if my child thinks setting boundaries will make them seem rude or unkind?
Many children are socialized to prioritize politeness over safety. They worry about being labeled mean, dramatic, or difficult. It helps to reframe boundaries as a form of respect. You might say, “Being respectful includes respecting yourself. You don’t have to be rude to be firm, and you don’t have to explain your boundaries for them […]
How do I talk to my child about power differences without making everything feel dangerous?
Power differences exist everywhere, not just in extreme situations. Age, popularity, size, authority, gender, and social influence all affect how safe someone feels saying no. You don’t need to frame this as danger. Frame it as awareness. You can say, “If someone has more power than you in a situation and you feel pressured, it’s […]
What if my child is worried they led someone on?
Children often take responsibility for others’ behavior, especially when they were friendly, curious, or changed their mind. This can create deep shame. It’s important to be clear that kindness, flirting, curiosity, or saying yes once does not obligate anyone to continue. You can say, “You’re allowed to change your mind. Someone else’s expectations do not […]
How do I explain that silence or freezing doesn’t mean consent?
Many children believe consent requires a verbal no. In reality, silence and freezing are common trauma responses. You can explain it simply: “When people feel scared or overwhelmed, their body can shut down. That’s not consent. Consent requires clarity and comfort.” This helps children understand their own reactions and respect others’ boundaries as well.
What if my child says they didn’t say no, so they think it’s their fault?
This belief is very common and very painful. Children often replay moments, searching for a point where they think they should have acted differently. You can gently interrupt that narrative by saying, “Not saying no doesn’t mean you agreed. Responsibility always belongs to the person who crossed the boundary.” Repeating this consistently can help loosen […]
How do I help my child understand that they are allowed to seek help even if they broke a rule?
Children often stay silent because they fear consequences more than harm. They need reassurance that safety comes first. You might say, “Rules matter, but your safety matters more. If something scary or uncomfortable happens, I want you to tell me even if a rule was broken.” Backing this up with calm responses in smaller situations […]
How do I talk to my child about sexual harassment when they say it’s just normal behavior?
Children often normalize harmful behavior because they see it everywhere. It helps to separate “common” from “acceptable.” You can say, “Something can be common and still not okay. If it makes you or someone else uncomfortable, it deserves attention.” This helps children question norms without feeling isolated.
What’s the most important message I should keep repeating?
“You are not alone. You are not in trouble. You did not cause this. I am here with you.” Those words, said calmly and consistently, do more for a child’s safety and healing than any rule or technology setting.
What if my child confuses attention with affection?
This is very common, especially for kids who feel lonely, insecure, or overlooked. Attention can feel powerful, validating, and exciting. Unfortunately, people who want to exploit others often rely on this confusion. Help your child slow down and notice how interactions make them feel over time. Affection feels mutual and safe. Exploitation often feels intense, […]
Can sexual violence happen without physical force?
Yes. Sexual violence often involves pressure, manipulation, power differences, or fear rather than physical force. This can be especially confusing for children and teens, who may think it “doesn’t count” if there was no violence or if the person was someone they knew. It helps to say, “If someone felt scared, pressured, or unable to […]