What if my child is worried about retaliation?
“Retaliation is a real concern, especially in schools and online spaces. Take this fear seriously and don’t rush disclosure without a plan. Reassure your child that you will think through safety steps together. This might include who is told, how information is shared, and what protections can be put in place. Feeling protected makes disclosure […]
What if my child says “you’ll be mad” before telling me?
This tells you your child is more afraid of your reaction than the situation itself. Slow down and address that fear first. Say something clear and calm, like, “I might have feelings because I care about you, but I won’t be mad at you. You’re not in trouble.” Your tone and body language matter just […]
How do I respond if my child tests me with a small disclosure first?
Small disclosures are often a test of safety. Children watch closely to see if you overreact, lecture, or punish. Respond with appreciation and curiosity. “Thank you for telling me. I’m really glad you did.” A calm response now makes bigger conversations possible later.
What if my child says “never mind” after starting to tell me something?
This usually means the moment felt too vulnerable. Respect the pause without withdrawing warmth. You can say, “That’s okay. I’m here whenever you’re ready.” Avoid asking follow-up questions right away. Leaving the door open matters more than getting information.
How do I reassure my child without promising things I can’t control?
Avoid absolute promises like “nothing bad will happen.” Instead, promise presence and honesty. You might say, “I can’t control everything, but I can promise I’ll be honest with you and I won’t leave you to handle this alone.” This builds trust without false reassurance.
How do I help my child understand that they don’t owe anyone access to their body or attention?
Children are often taught to be polite before they are taught to be safe. Reinforce that they do not owe hugs, kisses, conversations, photos, or emotional labor to anyone, including family, friends, or people they admire. You might say, “You’re allowed to say no without explaining yourself. Being kind does not mean ignoring your boundaries.”
What if my child says they were “fine with it at the time” but feel upset later?
That’s very common. Understanding and emotions often catch up later, once the pressure is gone. Let your child know that hindsight doesn’t mean they were wrong then. You can say, “It’s okay to realize later that something didn’t sit right with you. That doesn’t change what you deserve now, which is support.”
What if my child is afraid of being labeled or judged if they report something?
Fear of social consequences keeps many children silent. They worry about being seen as dramatic, ruining reputations, or becoming “that kid.” Help your child understand that reporting is about safety, not labels. You can say, “Telling is about protecting yourself and possibly others. You’re not responsible for how adults handle the information.”
How do I talk to my child about sexual violence when the person who harmed them was someone they cared about?
This is one of the hardest situations for children. Love, trust, fear, and harm can exist at the same time. Children may feel grief alongside anger or confusion. You can say, “It’s okay to miss someone and still know what they did was not okay. Feelings don’t cancel out harm.” Naming this complexity helps children […]
How do I teach my child to recognize manipulation or pressure, especially when it’s subtle?
Manipulation often doesn’t look dramatic. It sounds like flattery, guilt, persistence, or “everyone else is doing it.” Children are especially vulnerable to pressure when it’s wrapped in attention or affection. You can help by teaching your child to notice patterns rather than single moments. Encourage them to pay attention to how they feel after interactions. […]